This implies there was a car Jesus. How was car Jesus crucified anyway?
Personally, I believe a joke only really starts to shine once you're beating a horse so dead it's skeletonized.
>If we don't get USAID money, we'll let California burn to the ground.
Oh Allah, please let my Asian wife birth one Elliot Rodger hapa son I can be secretly proud of but also some white-passing sons I can be openly proud of too.
Check out this r/Atheism user that just thawed out of a block of ice from 2011.
With a military like this, Estonian warmongering is the equivalent of your little brother being a shithead because he knows he can run to mom if you hit him.
I bet if I emailed this shit to an investment banker I'd get hired on the spot.Name: The Synthetic Hydra CDO^∞ (Collateralized Derivative Obligation to Infinity)1. Underlying Reference Assets
Multi-Country Subprime Mortgages: Not just from one region—bundle up the shakiest mortgage loans from multiple countries with wildly different property laws, currencies, and economic backdrops (e.g., distressed suburban real estate in the U.S., overvalued condos in China’s ghost cities, and crumbling vacation properties in southern Europe).
Extremely Volatile Commodities: Include a basket of the most thinly traded commodities for maximum price whipsaws—think Venezuelan oil, niche rare-earth minerals used in obscure tech, and cocoa futures from unstable regions.
Cryptocurrency Variance Swaps: Instead of referencing the crypto prices themselves, reference the variance (the volatility squared) on an index of the most illiquid altcoins. This ensures the payoff is hypersensitive to any sudden price swing or “rug pull.”
Exotic Interest Rate Spread Options: A multi-curve setup that references everything from negative-interest bonds in Europe to onshore/offshore rates in emerging markets, where central bank policies are often contradictory and unpredictable.
Weather Catastrophe Triggers: For that added flash-crash potential, tie part of the contract’s payout to parametric weather insurance triggers—hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, etc., in the most climate-exposed regions. Because why not blend in unhedgeable acts of God?2. Structure & Tranching
Super-Equity Tranche (a.k.a. “The Abyss”)
The first-loss tranche, which is levered 10:1 on the entire reference pool. It gets wiped out with even a minor deterioration in any of the underlying assets. High-coupon if it survives, but the coupon is funded by further debt issuance—meaning it’s basically paying investors with newly borrowed money.
Inverse-Mezzanine Tranche
This strange “middle” layer gains massively if a certain correlation threshold increases between the assets, but also has an embedded knock-in/knock-out feature if correlation falls below a different threshold. The result is so confusing that no one can properly hedge it.
Synthetic AAA “Double-Magic” Tranche
Ostensibly “safe” but actually uses a labyrinth of credit default swaps on counterparties that are themselves leveraged 20:1. As soon as one counterparty hits a margin trigger, a cascade of cross-default events automatically “flips” the AAA notes into equity positions in all the underlying assets—forcing the once “risk-free” investor to hold illiquid, defaulted Venezuelan oil futures and foreclosed condos on the outskirts of Miami.3. Leverage & Funding
Recursive SPVs (Special Purpose Vehicles)
Each SPV invests in multiple other SPVs, which in turn invest in each other, producing a nearly impossible to untangle daisy-chain. When one defaults, it triggers an avalanche of forced liquidations across the entire network.
Margin-On-Margin Feature
On top of the typical margin lending, the Hydra CDO^∞ issues another layer of margin on top of the existing margin lines. This double-layered margin is so opaque and unregulated that the notional can skyrocket well beyond the value of the underlying assets.
Trigger-Happy Collateral Calls
If any underlying reference asset experiences a 5% daily price swing (which happens daily in thinly traded markets), it triggers a collateral call that must be satisfied within an hour—or else automatic liquidation occurs, sending shockwaves across all counterparties.4. Coupon Payout Formula
Path-Dependent, Correlation-Linked, and Barrier-Option-Packed
Each monthly payout depends on a multi-factor formula combining (1) realized volatility on altcoins, (2) rolling default rates on the mortgages, (3) commodity price percentile ranks, and (4) whether certain “catastrophe triggers” have occurred.
If a threshold is hit (say, a hurricane in Florida or an earthquake in Japan), the coupon doubles.
If a second threshold is hit (such as crypto variance spiking above some huge level), all the coupons from prior months must be repaid (a “clawback” feature).
If the correlation among any two sub-portfolios crosses a certain boundary, the entire derivative is re-struck at a new notional that might be 150% of the original, with fresh capital required by all participants immediately.
In every single police interrogation I've ever watched of a boyfriend/stepdad caught being a nonce, the woman always eventually admits she knew. Every single time.
>Evade taxes.
>Fedpost because other people's taxes aren't being spent on your bullshit causes anymore.
:marseyfoidretard:
My nigga Barron is stone cold. Made an example out of this uppity foid real quick.
Both you and the rest of shitlib kind should stop acting as if you support a concept that you very clearly do not actually endorse, it's cringe. I'll admit I don't give a fuck about my enemies' freedom of speech, straight up. I see no need to pretend.
nostr:nprofile1qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyqpqscjc2e839xfmmsjfqr87huvu9qxenptmamfrcj6s98gv6frq5wgqtwgu4k tbh that sounds like the only smart thing he's done in this arc
On one hand, yes. On the other, imagine being in a marriage where you've never rawdogged your own wife.
>At least 15 women are backing up the claims of one of Destiny's accusers.
Wooooah buddy...Steven, I don't know how much streamer money you're rolling in, but if all these women are victims of your revenge porn, that could be $250k a pop in restitution. I don't think you're that rich, pal. The Day of the Job Application looms for your midget ass.
Sucking cock seems to be the only real work that actually exists, according to plebbit leftoids.
Is this post supposed to make me not want Ukraine to lose? Because it's not working.
The Cloud will still be here.
They call it a kindle because using one of akin to book burning.
You underestimate how dim the average crypto speculator is.