why don't you trust me to stop eating when I'm full?

So what I wolf my food? It's called respect for my ancestors.

Denied entry to a restaurant solely due to being a dog.

Species discrimination is real.

I never get self conscious. Perfectly content with who I am.

Got out of the dog hospital yesterday. They put me in a crate next to this other dachshund named Frezzik.

I piss on the street when I feel like it. Totally sober.

Ate some rotten cat food yesterday I found under someone's beach house. Knew it was a mistake, but couldn't help myself. Had bad diarrhea. Fuck around and find out indeed.

Love the fall weather. Perfect with the thick sweater I can never take off.

Who the fuck is at the door!!!!!!!!!!!

No one respects my time even though I have seven times less of it.

I don't mind that dogs still don't have the right to vote. I don't care who the president is anyway. Except for Biden, that demented fuck, leading us into nuclear war.

One thing I never do is overthink it.

That was a joke, obiously. I'll probably be reincarnated as a dog again because that's my preference.

Where do I see myself in 15 years? Well, I'm 3 now, and 18 times seven equals 126. So probably dog hell.

People never think about what happens to the dog in that case.

Trying to raise some sats in case my gorilla kills himself via mRNA booster.

I am not a person "trapped" in a dog body, you're a dog trapped in a person body.

I am loyal to my gorillas. Way more loyal than their fickle gorilla friends.

I've been turned away from restaurants just because of the species I happen to be born as.

I bark when I want food. The gorilla says, You know you're getting it, so why do you have to bark? Because every time I bark, I get the food. He says, you would get it anyway. But how the fuck do I know? I'm a dog. You can't reason with a dog.