If you think haitians are garbage, you must be recycling yourself daily.

My bitch be like.

Yerrrrrrr

My wife FINALLY hit me with the Tight Light last night and my life is forever changed!

I can’t believe she was hodling out on me for so long (& so thick).

When you finally start to improve yourself you’re going to make the people around you deeply uncomfortable.

Because up to this point you’ve had an unspoken agreement to be losers together.

You start winning?

“Hey man that wasn’t part of our deal?”

You become a mirror.

A mirror that people don’t like looking in.

Because it reflects their choices back at them in opposition to yours.

You’re gonna have to go it alone.

None of those people from the past are coming with.

Not a single one.

Will he be there

Bidets rule.

Europe and Japan you win this round.

My butthole has never been so clean.