Reyna d’Assia: The Key to Immortal Consciousness 50. Never give orders to gain the satisfaction of being obeyed.

Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship? Or are we suffering in Safeway?

Harry Mudd: Captain, you sing and dance as well as anyone I've ever seen, but what the devil are you talking about? Spock: What would seem to be a sound and perhaps our only opportunity. Harry Mudd: "Opportunity"? Now listen, Spock, you may be a wonderful Science Officer, but believe me, you couldn't sell fake patents to your mother. Spock: I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falsified patents. Harry Mudd: [shakes his head] Forget it. "Star Trek: The Original Series: I, Mudd, Season 2"

I do desire we may be better strangers. -- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

There are 3 types of guys -- the ones who hate nerds (all nerds, that is; girls aren't let off the hook); the ones who are scared off by girls who are slightly more intelligent than average; and the guys who are also somewhat more intelligent than average, but are so shy that they can't put 2 words together when they're within 20 feet of a girl. -- Vikki Roemer on debian-curiosa

kuebiko n. A state of exhaustion inspired by an act of senseless violence, which forces you to revise your image of what can happen in this world mending the fences of your expectations, weeding out invasive truths, cultivating the perennial good that's buried under the surface before propping yourself up in the middle of it like an old scarecrow, who's bursting at the seams but powerless to do anything but stand there and watch. ~ Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

5% of the toilet paper I use is for wiping my ass, 95% percent of it is to keep my fingers from touching shitty toilet paper. ―LikeAChikaCherryCola, Nov 2014

If Germany, thanks to Hitler and his successors, were to enslave the European nations and destroy most of the treasures of their past, future historians would certainly pronounce that she had civilized Europe. -- Simone Weil

The fabled origin of the laurel is this. Daphne, daughter of the river Peneus, offended by the persecutions of Apollo, implored succour of the gods, who changed her into a laurel tree. Apollo crowned his head with the leaves and ordered that forever after, the tree should be sacred to him. -- Dorothea Dix

"Don't come back until you have him", the Tick-Tock Man said quietly, sincerely, extremely dangerously. They used dogs. They used probes. They used cardio plate crossoffs. They used teepers. They used bribery. They used stick tites. They used intimidation. They used torment. They used torture. They used finks. They used cops. They used search and seizure. They used fallaron. They used betterment incentives. They used finger prints. They used the bertillion system. They used cunning. They used guile. They used treachery. They used Raoul-Mitgong but he wasn't much help. They used applied physics. They used techniques of criminology. And what the hell, they caught him. -- Harlan Ellison, "Repent, Harlequin, said the Tick-Tock Man"

Everything is possible. Pass the word. -- Rita Mae Brown, "Six of One"

If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop. The law of gravity supercedes the law of golf. -- Donald A. Metz

There are two ways to slice easily thorugh life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. ~ Alfred Korzybski

At the hospital, a doctor is training an intern on how to announce bad news to the patients. The doctor tells the intern "This man in 305 is going to die in six months. Go in and tell him." The intern boldly walks into the room, over to the man's bedisde and tells him "Seems like you're gonna die!" The man has a heart attack and is rushed into surgery on the spot. The doctor grabs the intern and screams at him, "What!?!? are you some kind of moron? You've got to take it easy, work your way up to the subject. Now this man in 213 has about a week to live. Go in and tell him, but, gently, you hear me, gently!" The intern goes softly into the room, humming to himself, cheerily opens the drapes to let the sun in, walks over to the man's bedside, fluffs his pillow and wishes him a "Good morning!" "Wonderful day, no? Say... guess who's going to die soon!"

The Great Movie Posters: Different! Daring! Dynamic! Defying! Dumbfounding! SEE Uncle Tom lead the Negroes to FREEDOM! ... Now, all the SENSUAL and VIOLENT passions Roots couldn't show on TV! -- Uncle Tom's Cabin (1972) An appalling amalgam of carnage and carnality! -- Flesh and Blood Show (1973) WHEN THE CATS ARE HUNGRY... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Alone, only a harmless pet... One Thousand Strong, They Become a Man-Eating Machine! -- The Night of a Thousand Cats (1972) They're Over-Exposed But Not Under-Developed! -- Cover Girl Models (1976)

Three out of every six Americans live within fifty miles of where they were born.

I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself. I will be rich by myself, and not by borrowing. ~ Michele de Montaigne

Yo momma is so stupid that when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said 'Cherry or Grape?'

EPIGRAMS IN PROGRAMMING 110. Editing is a rewording activity.

Everything happens for a reason, doesnt it? Even if you dont consciously agree with that statement, your brain sure does. -- Seth Godin , All Marketers Are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-Trust World