If ordinary people complain that I speak too much of myself, I complain that they do not even think of themselves. ~ Michele de Montaigne

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? -- George Carlin

Pascal Users: To show respect for the 313th anniversary (tomorrow) of the death of Blaise Pascal, your programs will be run at half speed.

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #4 A: Go west, young man, go west! Q: What do wabbits do when they get tiwed of wunning awound?

"There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know yet." -Ambrose Bierce

variation on a theme by shiomi a metadrama look for the vanishing smile. ~ Dick Higgins [NYC, Sept-Oct, 1985]

"Actually, the only distribution of Linux I've ever used that passed the rootshell test out of the box (hit rootshell at the time the dist is released and see if you can break the OS with scripts from there) is Debian." -- seen on the Linux security-audit mailing list

On the night before her family moved from Kansas to California, the little girl knelt by her bed to say her prayers. "God bless Mommy and Daddy and Keith and Kim," she said. As she began to get up, she quickly added, "Oh, and God, this is goodbye. We're moving to Hollywood."

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth. But one creature said at last, "I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom." The other creatures laughed and said, "Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!" But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet, in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more. And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, "See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!" And the one carried in the current said, "I am no more Messiah than you. The river delight to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure. But they cried the more, "Saviour!" all the while clinging to the rocks, making legends of a Saviour. -- Richard Bach

I had the fortune or misfortune to learn how to read fluently starting at the age of three. So I had read maybe 150 books by the time I hit 1st grade. And I already knew that the teachers were lying to me. ~ Alan Kay

In 2016 it takes 28 minutes for me to hear about and be semi clear on details of military uprising half way around the world. ―m3s3dup, Jul 2016

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. -- Mark Twain

HARVARD: Quarterback: Sophomore Dave Strewzinski... likes to pass. And pass he does, with a record 86 attempts (three completions) in 87 plays.... Though Strewzinksi has so far failed to score any points for the Crimson, his jackrabbit speed has made him the least sacked quarterback in the Ivy league. Wide Receiver: The other directional signal in Harvard's offensive machine is senior Phil Yip, who is very fast. Yip is so fast that he has set a record for being fast. Expect to see Yip elude all pursuers and make it into the endzone five or six times, his average for a game. Yip, nicknamed "fumblefingers" and "you asshole" by his teammates, hopes to carry the ball with him at least one of those times. YALE: Defense: On the defensive side, Yale boasts the stingiest line in the Ivies. Primarily responsible are seniors Izzy "Shylock" Bloomberg and Myron Finklestein, the tightest ends in recent Eli history. Also contributing to the powerful defense is junior tackle Angus MacWhirter, a Scotsman who rounds out the offensive ethnic joke. Look for these three to shut down the opening coin toss. -- Harvard Lampoon 1988 Program Parody, distributed at The Game

I'll learn to play the Saxophone, I play just what I feel. Drink Scotch whisky all night long, And die behind the wheel. They got a name for the winners in the world, I want a name when I lose. They call Alabama the Crimson Tide, Call me Deacon Blues. -- Becker and Fagan, "Deacon Blues"

Cuando todo en mi derredor estaba en orden, cuando estaba contento con todo lo que me rodeaba y con la esfera en la que tena que vivir, la llenaba con mis afectos. Mi alma expansiva se extenda sobre otros objetos, y atrada sin cesar lejos de m por gustos de mil especies, por vnculos amables que sin cesar ocupaban mi corazn, me olvidaba en cierta manera de m mismo, participaba por entero de lo que me era extrao y senta en la continua agitacin de mi corazn toda la vicisitud de las cosas humanas. Esta tortuosa vida no me dejaba ni paz en los adentros, ni reposo fuera. En apariencia dichoso, `no tena un solo sentimiento que pudiera soportar la prueba de la reflexin y en el que pudiera deleitarme verdaderamente. Nunca estaba totalmente contento, ni de otro ni de m mismo. El tumulto del mundo me aturda, la soledad me hastiaba, tena continuamente necesidad de cambiar de sitio y no esta bien en ninguna parte. Sin embargo, era agasajado, muy estimado, bien recibido, acariciado por doquier. No tena un solo enemigo, ni malqueriente ni envidioso. Como no se buscaba sino complacerme, con frecuencia yo mismo tena el placer de complacer a mucha gente, y sin bienes, sin empleo, sin fautores, sin grandes talentos bien desarrollados ni bien conocidos, gozaba de las ventajas aadidas a todo aquello y no vea a nadie en estado alguno cuya suerte parecirame preferible a la ma. Que me faltaba entonces para ser feliz? Lo ignoro; pero s que no lo era. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Reveries of the Solitary Walker

He eat untill to can't more.

EPIGRAMS IN PROGRAMMING 81. In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word "frustration".

Tex SEX! The HOME of WHEELS! The dripping of COFFEE!! Take me to Minnesota but don't EMBARRASS me!!

Don't get so caught up in the daily grind that you never find any time to enjoy yourself.

Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make the angels laugh? We are a company of ignorant beings, feeling our way through mists and darkness, learning only be incessantly repeated blunders, obtaining a glimmering of truth by falling into every conceivable error, dimly discerning light enough for our daily needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that we don't know the map of the universe as well as the map of our infintesimal parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all eternity for his faithlessness... - Leslie Stephen, "An agnostic's Apology", Fortnightly Review, 1876