Crash diets don't work. They don't work for losing weight, they don't work for making sales quota and they don't work for getting and keeping a job. The reason they don't work has nothing to do with what's on the list of things to be done (or consumed). No, the reason they don't work is that they don't change habits, and habits are where our lives and careers and bodies are made. -- Seth Godin

The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries #56 Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns.

Spam was, Spam is and Spam shall be. After summer is winter, and after winter, summer. It ruled once where Man rules now; where Man rules now, it shall rule again. As a foulness shall ye know it.

Maine produces more toothpicks than any other state in the U.S.

Listen, there is no courage or any extra courage that I know of to find out the right thing to do. Now, it is not only necessary to do the right thing, but to do it in the right way and the only problem you have is what is the right thing to do and what is the right way to do it. That is the problem. But this economy of ours is not so simple that it obeys to the opinion of bias or the pronouncements of any particular individual, even to the President. This is an economy that is made up of 173 million people, and it reflects their desires, they're ready to buy, they're ready to spend, it is a thing that is too complex and too big to be affected adversely or advantageously just by a few words or any particular -- say, a little this and that, or even a panacea so alleged. -- D.D. Eisenhower, in response to: "Has the government been lacking in courage and boldness in facing up to the recession?"

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. -- George Carlin

> No manual is ever necessary. May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT. That's the biggest Apple lie of all! (Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces.)

Kirk: Bones? You could stop all this by saying no. That's why I called you all here together. We'll all be deeply involved. It must be unanimous. McCoy: Then I'll still want one question answered to my satisfaction. Why? Not a list of possible miracles, but a simple basic understandable why that overrides all danger. And let's not kid ourselves that there is no potential danger in this! Kirk: They used to say that if Man was meant to fly, he'd have wings. But he did fly. He discovered he had to. Do you wish that the first Apollo mission hadn't reached the moon, or that we hadn't gone on to Mars and then to the nearest star? That's like saying you wish that you still operated with scalpels and sewed your patients up with catgut like your great-great-great-great- grandfather used to. I'm in command. I could order this. But I'm not because Doctor McCoy is right in pointing out the enormous danger potential in any contact with life and intelligence as fantastically advanced as this. But I must point out that the possibilities, the potential for knowledge and advancement is equally great. Risk...risk is our business. That's what this starship is all about. That's why we're aboard her. "Star Trek: The Original Series: Return to Tomorrow, Season 2"

Charlie Chaplin failed to make the finals of a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.

At the hospital, a doctor is training an intern on how to announce bad news to the patients. The doctor tells the intern "This man in 305 is going to die in six months. Go in and tell him." The intern boldly walks into the room, over to the man's bedisde and tells him "Seems like you're gonna die!" The man has a heart attack and is rushed into surgery on the spot. The doctor grabs the intern and screams at him, "What!?!? are you some kind of moron? You've got to take it easy, work your way up to the subject. Now this man in 213 has about a week to live. Go in and tell him, but, gently, you hear me, gently!" The intern goes softly into the room, humming to himself, cheerily opens the drapes to let the sun in, walks over to the man's bedside, fluffs his pillow and wishes him a "Good morning!" "Wonderful day, no? Say... guess who's going to die soon!"

/* * [...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum * possible RTT. I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP * to talk to the University of Mars. * PAWS allows us longer timeouts and large windows, so once implemented * ftp to mars will work nicely. */ -- from /usr/src/linux/net/inet/tcp.c, concerning RTT [round trip time]

To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. ~ William Blake

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. -- H. L. Mencken

We have entered the cell, the Mansion of our birth, and started the inventory of our acquired wealth. ~ Albert Claude

Algorithm: A catchy 1930 song by George and Ira Gershwin.

I was not the inspiration for "Kramer."

The commander Forbin of Janson, being at a repast with a celebrated Boileau, had undertaken to pun him upon her name:—"What name, told him, carry you thither? Boileau: I would wish better to call me Drink wine." The poet was answered him in the same tune:—"And you, sir, what name have you choice? Janson: I should prefer to be named John-Meal. The meal don't is valuable better than the furfur?"

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.

"...A strange enigma is man!" "Someone calls him a soul concealed in an animal," I suggested. "Winwood Reade is good upon the subject," said Holmes. "He remarked that, while the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he becomes a mathematical certainty. You can, for example, never foretell what any one man will do, but you can say with precision what an average number will be up to. Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant. So says the statistician." -- Sherlock Holmes, "The Sign of Four"