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CLITS, CUNNILINGUS, G - SPOTS & ORGASMS

For men, it is easy. Have sex and almost everytime, reach a climax.

For women, the story is not the same and penetrative sex doesn’t always lead to orgasm, with many having never experienced it. If you are a man, think of that explosive peak before ejaculation, can you imagine taking that away and it still being termed as great sex? Probably not, but that is the reality that many women live. Strangely, many are fine with it (or at least have learnt to live with it). If you ask around, more times than not, you’d get a woman who wants cunnilingus; which basically is the stimulation of the clitoris with the tongue (okay, generally not the tongue and generally not just the clitoris but you get the idea).

Here comes the problem. There are many husbands who would not be willing to do it no matter what. There are different reasons for this but the majority seem to be conditioned around an active imagination that has to do with hygiene. If your husband falls into this category then this is the first thing that needs to be worked upon. You are going to have to sell him the idea and this may not be easy. It is so bad that even if you offer fellatio, they still won’t take the deal. So, you have to get creative and get into their minds. Understand what drives their refusal. If it is hygiene then offer to do things that would help i.e. taking a bath just before it and coming out fresh. It is not an easy mindset to change but doing that is a topic on its own.

Now, back to the clitoris. Please, let it not shock you that many husbands do not know where this is located. They can point the general area but cannot actually locate it. If this cannot be done then how can it be stimulated to give pleasure? Of course, you cannot rule out ego being in play here so many would not ask, especially given they can just move to other things and get away with it but with sex, as much as quantity is important, quality is a lot more important.

There is also the G-spot and again, like the clitoris, this needs to be located first. But beyond the fact that a lot of husbands do not know of its existence let alone its location, a lot of wives cannot locate their own G-spots. Again, a G-spot that cannot be located is a G-spot that cannot be deliberately put into play.

One of the above will significantly take the wife to a different level but putting both into play (when done right) will make the experience a whole new one.

Hold on, not so fast.

Orgasms don’t just happen. It is as mental a process as it is physical so beyond the stimulation, you have to also be able to make her feel good. Unfortunately, this goes counter what the male body wants to do, which is to thrust, thrust and thrust, hard and fast. You have to deliberately slow yourself down enough to be able to pay attention to the needs of the wife too. You need to be selfless and forget about your own desires and make it about her. If you do that, you would in turn, unleash a side of her you never knew existed.

It doesn’t matter what her orientation is.

Wives want sex and they want the best of it. No matter how good a sex round is, it would be better with an orgasm. On the flip side, there is the cultural side to things where women want all they want but cannot admit it to their husbands. The biggest excuse is that the men would accuse them of being bad but you are married! If you cannot speak then how can he know what he needs to give you? This is another topic on its own.

Take time with her and make yourself appreciate every little bit of her. Also, know her unique sensitive spots. Some women have extra desires for gentle ear nibbling, some want gentle nipple nibbling, some want you to tickle them on the inner thigh. Whatever works for your spouse is what you need to learn and you need to learn it from your wife, why? She literally, is the only one who knows. Allow her guide you and enjoy being guided, it doesn’t make you less of a man, amazing sex is easier achieved with a team effort. Again, the cultural part comes into play here where many of our husbands have been raised to believe that a man not dominating the wife on the bed is weak. No, this is not true, let her teach you about her body because you don’t know what she knows (even though you may know other things).

When it comes to stimulating the clitoris, you want to be very gentle at first then gradually build up momentum. Kind of like how you spark a fire and gradually fan it to grow. Patience is very key here because this is something you do not rush. Allow her body speak to you and if you listen, you will hear her body clearly through the pace of her twists, turns and moans (for those who have not forced themselves to believe it is ‘dirty’ to moan)

Gentle strokes which can go any direction depending on your spouse but safer in circular movements, then gradually you increase the pressure. Let her tell you what is okay and what is not, work together to find the perfect conditions.

For those who would not use their tongues, unfortunately, this is as far as they go (which is limiting). For those who are able to go all the way to pleasure island, this is where the tongue is introduced. Gentle up and down strokes which can also go side to side. Circular motions are not as easy with the head. Tickle gently with the tongue and give short gentle sucks but it has got to be very gentle. Let her guide you and as she does, learn to eliminate each unproductive step so that after a few attempts, you have a very effective routine that makes it shorter and shorter for her to get to an orgasm.

We are different so it may take someone 10minutes to get an orgasm while it may take another 40 minutes. The build is sharp for some while it is gentle for others. So long as she lets you know she is still liking it and still able to go on, know that she is yet to hit it. Be patient with her.

Now, the above has been with the clitoris alone. If you add the stimulation of the G-spot to it, it is several levels up the notch. There are a few ways this can be done or you can improvise as you wish. Whatever you come up with, just make sure it works for her. It could be your finger stimulating the G-spot with your tongue on the clitoris. It could be one finger on one, another finger on the other (e.g middle finger for G-spot, and thumb on clitoris)

Most of the reported mistakes come from:

Patience

Pressure

Attention

If you can follow the above, and work with her, you will get her there.

Note: Some women are multi-orgasmic and can have several orgasms at a go. You never know what yours is if you stop exploring and seeking new heights. There’s a different level to this with the introduction of accelerators like ice cubes but one step at a time.

The clitoris is located outside the VJ at the top side. Using tongue on the clit is 🥵🔥

The G-spot is located inside the VJ by the frontal wall. It can be located by insertion of the first section of your index finger upward.

Check comment section for details on locating the clitoris and G-spot.

Olashubomi Korede Fem

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