I’ll summon a surgeon to fetch it from his belly and take an insta-worthy pic for nostr.

…pretty much

I had it in my bio for months; if they missed it, they missed it.

You’ve activated my salivary glands. I’m a hoe for bread and butter, always.

Wrong and wrong. You’re making it ugly.

Nothing, I ate too many stuffed jalapeños and won’t do my stomach the disservice of eating dinner on top of that

Take a fucking ultrasound, Shawn, c’mon

I get genuinely turned on when a man pronounces my name correctly

I may seem lame as fuck but I’m secretly cool and even more secretly I’m lame as fuck.

Only if he’s a poet

Summer 2018.

No, but if you were a teacher who survived a somewhat disastrous outdoor ed field trip with the 6th graders, you’d get some baklava from her, too.

Shoutout to Ahmed’s mother for that one. Was delicious.

Nostr has either been rather slow this week or I just need to follow more people

uh…literally nothing, except for the possibility of image uploads on Damus

An older guy wanted to take you out when you were 15? I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

I dream of you almost every night, hopefully I won’t wake up this time.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0HUTL8i4y4MiGCPId7M7wb?si=4f7gRmcGRsOJGcQnftdFIQ

Thought it was just my WiFi. Guess I have to find somewhere else to post completely unhinged content.

I’m entirely here for it.

Cool! 🤙