SHOES UNITED

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Y YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY IT OUT LOUD IM TRYING MY BEST

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YORE TELLIN ME SHPIGUN ISNT DEAD

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Y YEAH?

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FOLLOW ME FOR AN UPCOMING REVIEW OF THAT FUCKIN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WITH THE WOOKIES

ITS LIKE

CHEWBACCAS FAMILY CELEBRATING ALIEN THANKSGIVING ON THEIR TREE PLANET AND THEY JUST MAKE WOOKIE NOISES WITH SUBTITLES

HAD A FUCKIN RED LETTER MEDIA DREAM

I WAS AT A HOSPITAL BECAUSE MY MOM WAS A NURSE AND LEAVING ME AT OUR HOUSE WASNT AN OPTION SOMEHOW

IM A LITTLE KID, JUST SITTING IN LIKE A WAITING ROOM THEY HAVE A TV WITH A VHS PLAYER UNDER IT AND A STACK OF CASSETTES IN THE COFFEE TABLE

SO I JUST KIND OF BROWSE THROUGH THE STACK AND BOY WHAT DO I FIND

OBI VAN AND QUI GON LOOK OUT BELOW A STAR WARS ADVENTURE

YES THE FUCKIN 2001 PHANTOM MENACE DIRECT TO TV SHITTY LOW BUDGET SIDE STORY MOVIE

SOMETHING SOMETHING BIG SKYSCRAPER PLANET AND THERES A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY THATS ACTUALLY OWNED BY A CRIMINAL SYNDICATE AND OOOO THEYRE GONNA MAKE EXPLOSIVES AND THEYRE GONNA MUSCLE IN ON PLANETARY GOVERNMENT?? AND BASICALLY OBI VAN AND LIAM NEESON HAVE TO PLAY SPACE SHERIFF AND UNCOVER IT

IM GUESSING THIS IS BEFORE PHANTOM PENISE

SO NO CHILD ACTOR AND NO JAR JAR -- CGI TOO SPENSIVE

FEATURING BORED LOOKING LIAM NEESON IN A BATHROBE WITH THE LONG HAIR

ALSO SOME BROAD IN A MASS EFFECT TIER MILITARY UNIFORM WHOS LIKE THE TOP COP OF THE PLANET

AND THERE UNCOVERING SHIT

THERES A LOT OF TALKING AND BAD CG AND CHEAP LOOKIN PRACTICAL EFFECTS

ONLY HIGHLIGHT IMO IS LIAM NEESON THE HUMAN SUPREMACIST

THEY HAVE TO GO TO SOME FUCKIN UPSCALE RESTAURANT EVENT WHERE SOMETHING GETS UNVEILED TO SPY ON THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANYS GOONS WHO WILL ALSO BE THERE AND AT ONE POINT LIAM NEESON GETS UP AND WALKS OVER TO THEIR TABLE AND MAKES UNSUBSTANTIATED JEDI THREATS WITH A CALM (BORED) DEMEANOR

BUT

BECAUSE THE BADDIES HAVE TO GET CUT DOWN WITH LIGHTSABERS IN A TEEN RATED DIRECT TO TV MOVIE -- THEYRE ALL RUBBER SUIT ALIENS

AND ALL THE REST OF THE PEOPLE AT THIS UPSCALE FUNCTION ARE HUMAN

SO IT LOOKS LIKE QUI GON WAS JUST LIKE EYYYY YOU BLACKIES RAN AFOUL OF THE KORUSCANT KU KLUX KLAN I DONT CARE WHAT CIVIL RIGHTS YOU GOT YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HUMANS ONLY ESTABLISHMENT

THANKS FOR READING

YOU CAN REACH ME BEHIND THE DUMPSTER AT WINKIES AND I WILL GIVE YOU A FREE VHS OF "OBI-WAN AND QUI-GON 'LOOK OUT BELOW': A STAR WARS ADVENTURE"

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EIGHT HOUR WORKWEEK BUT COULD DIE FROM AN UNTREATED PAPERCUT

THE ULTIMATE THRILL