nostr:nprofile1qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyqpqsj6fupq4l4556s0nflkz6suz8kf35fxpgklqe3cse83amyces02q4xecss I was feeling _so good_ in January/February, I was walking every day, I bought a second-hand bicycle and was cycling pretty regularly.

I had a pretty solid routine for 6 weeks straight.

Then I just hit a wall and it fell apart, and I am really struggling to accept it.

I can accept that when things get stressful and busy, it's hard to maintain a routine. But the part that I'm struggling with is just how hard/impossible it feels to resume that routine when things settle back down.

nostr:nprofile1qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyqpqmewd58tz390gcnw0ml99alkzzgcuj2yg9tdsjwt45zga54rtsj8q2c67cd I always read all of the replies to my messages... but I often find that I have a hard time replying to them.

I don't feel obligated to reply, so I don't think it's a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) thing.

I want to reply and engage, but I usually don't know what to say, and it feels like an enormous amount of effort to figure out what to say, how to say it, then actually write it out.

Doubly so in person. I've always been very quiet in general. I started reading recently about selective mutism but that doesn't resonate with me... it's not that I _can't_ speak, it's that I struggle with _what_ to say. Or, in some cases, it doesn't even occur to me that there's anything to be said. I just listen and absorb.

#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent