Commies, the people who looked at human history and said, “You know what we need? More meetings and less food.”

Communists hate rich people, hate corporations, hate landlords… but somehow always end up with one guy in a big house, on a big podium, with a really nice coat, explaining why everybody else has to share one lightbulb.

They’re the same people who’d wrestle a raccoon for a coupon book. You dangle a free burger in front of them and suddenly they’ve got the pioneering spirit of Lewis and Clark.

#Trump and #Bitcoin are basically twins: loud, volatile, and worshipped by guys who think wearing sunglasses indoors makes them a visionary. One shouts on stage, the other shouts at a price chart. Both promise greatness, both confuse half their followers, and both leave you wondering, “Is this going to the moon, or straight into a ditch?" I say one of them is going to the moon.

Opening your X app is like kicking down the door of a burning asylum to start sniffing the fumes.

Limit file size and hurt some feelings.

If your gif is bigger than your attention span, rejected.

So you cleaned out your mom’s garage and now you think you’re Michael Saylor?

But seriously, good for you. Just joshing around.

Hello, world. Daddy’s home.