In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and

struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny

and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the

crunch he was all courage. Those novels would make you retch.

-- Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, on the generic Canadian

novel.

Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.

Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?

A: Open other end.

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made

school boards.

-- Mark Twain

Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.

You're at the end of the road again.

Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.

Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).

Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.

Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?

A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of

Congress. But I repeat myself.

-- Mark Twain

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

-- Mark Twain

Questionable day.

Ask somebody something.

Q: Are we not men?

A: We are Vaxen.

If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!

AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE!

FEAR! FIRE! FOES!

AWAKE! AWAKE!

-- J. R. R. Tolkien

Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today.

Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered

rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen

bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim,

'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and at last I knew Pittsburgh.

-- Winning sentence, 1987 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

Q: What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?

A: The very best person they can possibly be.