You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.

A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon.

Buy the negatives at any price.

Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.

Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.

You have a truly strong individuality.

Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying?

A: When his lips move.

Small things make base men proud.

-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

Chess tonight.

Q: How many Harvard MBA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one. He grasps it firmly and the universe revolves around him.

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

Q: What's the difference between a Mac and an Etch-a-Sketch?

A: You don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.

"When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

-- Mark Twain

You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.

You will be divorced within a year.

A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.

Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.

You will have a long and boring life.

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"

Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever

skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious

to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an

overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic

apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless

as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a

steroid-free fitness center.

-- Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.