Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

You will be successful in love.

You will feel hungry again in another hour.

There's small choice in rotten apples.

-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"

You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today.

Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.

If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.

You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.

Q: Know what the difference between your latest project

and putting wings on an elephant is?

A: Who knows? The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all those

Californians trying to share the experience.

Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your

life in such a mess.

Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight.

You will be married within a year, and divorced within two.

Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

A: You do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit

gets all the credit.

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New

England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be

raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in

New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for

countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere

if they don't get it.

-- Mark Twain

A is for Apple.

-- Hester Pryne

There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of

paying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.

Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.

Don't feed the bats tonight.