I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less

than half of you half as well as you deserve.

-- J. R. R. Tolkien

You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard?

A: You get someone who makes you an offer that you can't understand!

Your domestic life may be harmonious.

You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.

You will get what you deserve.

Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement.

Q: What is purple and commutes?

A: An Abelian grape.

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails,

whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through

the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

-- Captain Ahab, "Moby Dick"

You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will

be sold.

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man

who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that

there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Q: Why did the WASP cross the road?

A: To get to the middle.

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"

You too can wear a nose mitten.

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference

between a mermaid and a seal.

-- Mark Twain

Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

-- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer?

A: Throw him a rock.

Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog.

Bridge ahead. Pay troll.