You, on the morning after insomnia
Let your walk be steeper, meandering
In the still-dripping morning rain,
The occasional notes that emerge between the trees
Are like ghosts. (Sometimes I cannot capture their blurry faces)
Birds are a product of lightness, from the sky,
Clearer than the river, more familiar with the path of the lake than you.
You almost envy them.
Even the other things present know that last night
Still left a key on you, and the humidity therefore exudes a sandalwood-like
Satisfaction. Still, please walk deeper,
The lingering weakness grows on either side of the old landscape.
Do you think of anything, think of any long journey you have taken?
At that time, the mountain paths in the forest fell into rest,
The light of the electrical age stopped supplying after ten o'clock,
Allowing us to enjoy the ancient darkness.
In the intervals, the echoes of creation can be heard.
But this time it is not this side,
Not this side that has been told so much that even where the squirrels hide
Their sturdy fruits are irrelevant. And where should you
Go to find them? Those hearts that have already been soaked in tears before the cold wave arrives,
They are haggard and pure, almost helping me to observe those subtle images.
The muddy paths that the mountain people have walked,
Drowning in the fermenting dead branches,
Suggest that we will still meet a skilled winter, so
The stream is even paler, like fine snow, trying to carve the image of passing away.
“If you go right, the river you prefer is below.”
In the summer, I used to read the Old Testament and jog by the river.
At that time, the weight of the ether was lighter than a breath, enough to escape any grasp.
It seemed that it could be blown by the wind head-on, embracing every tiny thing in its vastness. But at this moment it is still our day, “Perhaps
I will be close to the water, and perhaps
Qu Yuan will also understand that eternal metaphor.”
永久的愛，本身就不存在吧，可是，如果不是這樣的希冀我又可以憑什麼東西支撐下去呢？
記錄一下今晚富根給的評價，他說我寫得像是超高配版年輕的他。
今天和北渚聊語音，被他問起了最近有沒有甚馬新的詩學見解！開心！
怎麼想都覺得自己變得越來越討厭，越來越幽怨了，非要選的話還是兩年前的我相處起來更令人舒適一點吧。
突然意識到自己是給很多人寫過詩卻幾乎沒有收到過別人的詩的那種寫作者，好慘，更慘的是已經開始在意這件事情了。
不管怎樣，不要絕望，或者，起碼不要因絕望而哭泣了。打起精神來。
從現象學和精分入手談詩，講科學世界與生活世界的二分，針對是災難，太災難了，不堪卒讀。
不錯 已經可以拿戀物大棒到處敲打了。
以後再也不想接詩評了，如果不是自己有熱情的那種的話根本high不起來（是不是我寫詩評的方式全靠high？
我愛你，我永遠愛你……
為什麼那時候能夠那麼輕易地想到永遠呢……但難道現在那不已經是永遠了嗎？
看一對新婚夫婦都本子，突然想起來跟她說“以後我們結婚吧”的情景，好疼痛……
過得並不開心，沒有希望，莫名其妙地就度過了一天，當然也沒有發生特別不愉快的事情。眼看著自己深處的環境越來越糟，但是也沒有什麼切身的體會，好虛假，連感受也是紙片化的。
晚上騎著車出去逛了一下，到軟件園下車散步，但是並不開心，天啟可能太冷了，身體不時發抖。散步沒有走太遠，在那些巨型辦公樓徘徊了一下就打道返回了，怎麼想都覺得是一種憂鬱。最近不時想起21年剛倒北京時那個月食的夜晚，跑到樓下去看的時候已經結束了，真的是辰門的一天吧。
哈，我怎麼沒有想到呢，愛人跟戀物並不衝突阿。我只是對愛人產生了絕望才覺得這是二選一吧。