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"What is the difference between a Windows user and a Linux user?

A Linux user hits his head on the monitor, cries, then reads the instructions, gets to work, and works.

The Windows user immediately gets to work, then starts reading the instructions, and only then cries and hits his head on the monitor."

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When Monica was given roller skates, she thought it was the best gift in the world!

But after half an hour I decided that the best gift would be new front teeth!

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Don't wear skirts shorter than your panties. Your Guardian Angel.

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Who is this dog? German Shepherd!

It’s impossible not to guess her portrait.

And it’s just unbearably pitiful

That this one has been consigned to oblivion.

Their run is like a shot arrow

And their appearance is filled with beauty.

In any work and in any battle

These dogs have proven their loyalty.

Smart, obedient, sensitive and loved...

German Shepherds, you are unique!

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It is difficult to raise both legs above the head, but lower your head below your legs -

Easy to.

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"If I believed in the immortality of the soul, I would have believed that many dogs and very few people I knew got into paradise." James Terber

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"As soon as it was noted that over time, the old nonsense became wisdom, and the old little fables, rather carelessly woven, give rise to large, most-well-woven truths, the truth was immediately divided on earth. There is such a truth that everyone knows, but about which They are silent, because not every truth can be said. There is such a truth that everyone is praised, but not from a pure heart, because not every truth can be believed. But the oaths of lovers, threats of mothers, gags of drunkards, promises of those in power, the last word of merchants? And so to infinity! " Pierre Auguste Karon de Bomarsche

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"What do you think, where the largest treasure of the world is buried? And one of the most amazing and truthful answers is an ordinary cemetery that is located in every village. In the literal sense, most graves are the treasure of unsolved human talents, unfulfilled great musicians, sculptors, political figures, reformers, composers. Many people are born originals, but most of them prefer to die in copies. " Grigory Gabdiev

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"Heaven gives us only one life, but with the help of books we live a thousand." Jay Christophf

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The conscience has been lost, which found a request to leave myself, I do not do it easier and to sleep easier and more nasty things.

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"Life is short, and ours is even shorter.

Should I spend it on quarrels and resentment? Someday our bead will come, and if they finish me off, know - I do not hold evil.

I unconditionally forgive you for all the shit that you have done. "

Dean Winchester

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If you are tickled, then this is not a reason for laughter.

If they laugh at you, then you bring joy to people.

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"A person dies as many times as he loses his dear people." Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

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Smart people do not spend their lives on the study of all nonsense, they are smart that all the work for them do others who also consider themselves smart. Smarts pay them a salary with printed pieces of paper, for which you can buy food and some pleasure.

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Many copies are broken on the issue of priority right to be called "the closest to Lomonosov faculty"

As a rule, this kind of clarification of relations occurs during the celebration of the “Chemist Day” and “Physics Day”, especially since this is the same day (one of Saturdays in mid -May).

One of the days of the chemist - physics days, it was too late, the people got very drunk, and once again a dispute arose between the drunken physicists and chemists, to which of the faculties is the Lomonosov monument closer. As a result of long debate, an authoritative commission was organized, consisting of representatives of both faculties, which took up the distance measurements, and as a measuring device, for lack of nothing more suitable, a matchbox was used.

They measured for a very long time, argued and freezed several times, it already began to light, and they all measured. If you believe this legend, it turned out that it turned out that Lomonosov is closer to the chemical faculty for four matchboxes.

Once again, physicists and chemists began to argue, and as a result, the dispute grew into a giant battle using snowballs on the border of the territories of the physical faculty and chemical faculty and near the monument to the founder of Moscow State University Mikhail Lomonosov.

The battle of snowballs was so long and stubborn that in the end came in large numbers of the police, which and through the fighting students.

Mathematicians do not participate in these disputes! They are in the main building of Moscow State University, just in the middle, between physicists and chemists !!!

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Give women cowards -

They are much more useful!

Middle frosts -

The reason for the many diseases!

When everyone has noses,

When the infection hangs around

Women will put on cowards -

And it will become warmer at right away!

...you take in order to give,

you give so that you can take back later.

And the more you give, the more you take...

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“Once I met a beggar in love on the street. He was wearing an old hat, his coat was frayed at the elbows, his shoes were leaking, and the stars were shining in his soul.” Victor Hugo

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"A lie will travel halfway around the world before the truth has time to put on its boots." Mark Twain

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I am a cross between a cat and a dog.

I'm a cat.

A cat that walks by itself.

I don't know how to walk on a leash, give a voice, "serve" on command, or fetch slippers in my teeth.

I don't know how to live in a pack.

I like to watch others from the outside, but I like to be in the public eye.

I do not recognize my masters, but I am loyal to my friends.

I am a dog.

I acutely feel any manifestation of kindness and attention to myself, I look at kind people with the eyes of a dog, I cannot deceive or betray.

But if you push me, I might growl.

Probably, I am both, because a person adopts something from his favorites.

Over the twenty years of life of the most unscrupulous creation of the Siamese breed named Kon-Tiki, donated by Sergei Obraztsov, it was impossible not to learn cat habits from him.

Now I am taught by my mongrel, picked up on the street, Baby - a dog with human eyes. He has more than enough conscience, and humanity too.

The kid is fair; for example, he punishes Slava Plyatt in his own way with endless barking during rehearsals and even performances. Why? Can't forgive him for his fart.

Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya

The last dog in Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya’s life was a mongrel dog named Boy. The actress picked him up on the street, he was terribly beaten, with his paws broken and frozen in the ice. Ranevskaya took the mongrel to one of the best veterinary clinics in Moscow, where he was cured.

Until the end of his life, the dog paid his owner with boundless devotion.