nostr:nprofile1qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyqpq4xjka5n407g032un73qgc42s79jdw8cjsqwxpz79l0xr5mxscgfqhzz7sj haha i remember this feeling I had, like my heart was beating so fast, and I was thinking oh shit I did it, and then a few minutes later this sudden realization "what am I doing with my life?"

nostr:nprofile1qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddaehgu3wwp6kyqpq238ge5z0l2n3agncx8ese8jch538pn55xetzcnpxza9ulaf6gqmqlj2un8 haha I guess so! For the memories

Random core memory: at around 12-13, I loved to bake, and had been perfecting my yolk-separating. I became determined to have the least amount of white on the yolk. Eventually I did this with a yolk and ended up with so little white that I was able to pat it down with a paper towel and then hold it in my hand, and it felt totally dry. Just like a very, very thin bag containing liquid.

And then once I achieved that which I had once thought impossible, it was just like, ok, that was pointless lol

Was ghosted by a friend of 10 years... Ghosted is the wrong word. Blocked on all platforms, even blocked by their sibling. Even email.

I was very worried for their safety. Last week, after looking them up for months, I saw a public appearance so I know they're alive.

I'm pretty sure this is because when they visited me, I asked them to help me do chores like groceries, even though they were going through a rough time.

I hate that all my friendships from that era have ended explosively after I expressed a need or boundary... Even this last one. I hate that in those friendships, I was a service, and that as soon as I deviated from that I was met with anger.

I love that I'm truer to myself now. But boy does it come at a cost.