Hear me out, this is wild but what if we held people responsible for their actions and not the tools used in the action? Wouldn't that be crazy? 🤯🤯

#politics #humor

I have no doubt that this upcoming presidential debate will be as exciting as watching two 90-year-olds duke it out in a pro boxing match🍿.

Ladies, remember to use the 2nd amendment to your advantage and protect yourself.

As the world gets scarier, people get crazier, you only have yourself to rely on.

How’d the debate go?

What's the cheapest way to play elden ring. I only have a Nintendo switch right now.

I have too many npubs. I might retire this one.

Debate night drinking game rules (courtesy of Matt Taibbi)

DRINK EVERY TIME:

Harris uses the words felon, extreme, threat to democracy, or for the people.

Trump uses the words communist, socialist, radical or Marxist. Double-shot for tampon.

Harris talks about her experience dealing with predators, scammers, cheaters, perpetrators, or special interests.

Trump invokes the Kamala crime wave or defund the police, or says something like They destroyed San Francisco or You can’t buy a loaf of bread without getting shot. Any story of this sort qualifies (“These Haitians, it’s unbelievable. Who would eat a cat?”). Non-negotiable double-shot for literally third world conditions.

Harris says Let me be clear, I’m talking, or “Not going back.” Take a SMALL SIP ONLY whenever she mentions the middle class. Take a full drink when Donald Trump only cares about himself.

Trump says illegal, sanctuary, Border Czar. Double shot when Harris protests she wasn’t.

Harris cackles. Trump does “stank face” or “pinchy hands.”

Harris mentions the opportunity economy, price gouging or bringing down costs. Double for groceries. If both candidates mention groceries, take an aspirin.

“CHECK, PLEASE!” Drink if Harris runs out of things to say and has to be reminded she still has time left. (Drinking game trivia: this rule was originally written for Joe Biden years ago.)

“BILLIONS AND BILLIONS!” Drink when Trump rattles off a statistic that’s off by a factor of 10x. Double if he tells us how many people were just shot in Chicago and how it was worse than Afghanistan. (He may substitute Philadelphia tonight).

From Harris: sales tax, bipartisan, reproductive freedom, different vision. Drink for any mathematically perfect tautology/redundancy (e.g. deadlines of time). More than three seconds of stoned-looking hesitation is a drink. Strike your companion if you hear joy.

From Trump: so crazy, beautiful, fake, beating the hell, never been anything like it. Drink when he says any national problem was completely eliminated when he was president and complains the media lies its face off about it. You may also drink for take a bullet or the “pull down that chart” story if you feel under-served.

Tune in tonight to the livestream at 8:45 pm for an additional MYSTERY RULE.

IN THE POST-DEBATE COMMENTARY, DRINK WHEN:

Any pundit uses a legal metaphor to describe the Harris performance (“A great closing argument,” “She proved beyond a reasonable doubt tonight,” “Tonight, America is her jury”)

“Move the needle” (if a performance did or did not)

“Trump was incoherent/rambling”

Harris showed she was “calm” or “pragmatic”; “We saw a real leader tonight”

The real opinion of Barack Obama is written on the face of an otherwise evasive David Axelrod; full tumescence of Brian Stelter is detected; Chris Hayes completely agrees with whatever Joy, Rachel, or Jen just said

FINALLY, THE WALTER KIRN RULE:

You must finish your bottle and arm yourself if a technical breakdown or broadcast interruption takes place in the middle of a one-sided debate.

Some mornings I really don't feel like hitting the gym. I'm not at 100%, and no one would blame a guy for skipping today to rest.

Yet every time I choose to workout on these days I feel incredible afterwards. Maybe it wasn't my best workout ever, but I gave it my all. I pushed through.

These are the most important days.

Today is one of them. ✌️🌞

If by equity you mean the DNC gaining control of millions of votes by bribing desperate people with lack of immigration law enforcement than, I guess?