What is the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt.
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What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends? A ditch.
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What did the koala bear say to the barber? You ca-lip this?
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Why didn't the baby oyster share her little pearl? She was a little shellfish.
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"So Sherlock..." asked Watson, "I forget, what was your highest degree of education?" "Elementary, my dear Watson."
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What do you call a pile of dogs? A ruff terrain.
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A penguin walks into a bar... He goes up to the barman and says, "Have you seen my father in here today?" The barman says, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
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What Time Do You Go To The Dentist? Tooth - Hurty!
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Why did the tissue get up and dance? It had a little boogy in it.
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How do you kill a vampire from the South? With a chicken fried stake
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My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer... I said, No, wait! I can change!
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How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? FOUR!
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Why did the football go to the doctor? It had a deflated ego.
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Cogito Ergo Spud. I think, therefore I yam.
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Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights.
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Why don't crabs give to charities? They are shellfish.
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Why do galaxies put on boring shows while separated? Because their performance is lack-cluster.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? *She ran away from the ball.*
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