Five years ago today, my office sent out an email stating that we should all work from home while this "COVID-19 thing blows over."

The idea was that we'd all ride it out for a couple of weeks and then be back to business as usual.

Every so often, they'd send emails about how they hope to have us back on X date, but clearly those dates (circled on calendar) kept getting bumped.

By the time I used my yellow highlighter to mark the last day of 2020, I gave up and here we are, five years from the start, still dealing with COVID (which hasn't magically disappeared to anyone in denial).

Try to stay safe and be well, my friends.

Babe, nothing can ever separate us.

Except for the comma in this CSV file.

I only use my Bluesky account to remind those poor people that there are better options out there.

Instacart Shopper: I don’t see the Granny Smith apples. Are granny panties okay?

nostr:npub1jcndd6ht0dvq7l9mn4fx4ax40szxdylxxl9nypplflueecvng8sszl0xst Bluesky is like going to a mall but you’re only allowed to go in the Sunglass Hut.

Fill with water.

Or pee.

Probably pee.

Nobody at comic con recognized my cosplay.

n00bz

Notorious B.E.I.G.E.

I love people who insist on paying with a check for “security reasons.”

You are literally handing someone a piece of paper with your routing and full account number printed on it.

My personal brand of shade is walking past an average singer performing in a bar and saying “OMG, is it karaoke night?!?”

I had a friend who lost their arm in an accident and I was low-key jealous because it’s probably way more comfortable sleeping on your side when you don’t have a dumb arm getting in the way.

I could go hard on a Viennetta right about now.

Flashback to last year when I went on a “nighttime lights” tour in Hawaii and all of the people in the group were writing words like LOVE and FAMILY and I wrote NWA because F tha police.