Impressive: 6th-Grade Furry Already Barking At 9th-Grade Level https://t.co/7CAcU42XYi https://t.co/F6LUdhWGiU 
America Honors Earth Day By Recycling Used Presidential Candidates https://t.co/Khgi9GtD0X https://t.co/htkXk3bDsI 
Osama Bin Laden Given Honorary Posthumous Doctorate From Columbia https://t.co/VmzgEj1nyV https://t.co/mkz7pk3o67 
Congress Signs Up For $40 Billion Per Month Ukraine+ Subscription https://t.co/2yvtevMtYA https://t.co/zsNkcstP3J 
Flight Attendant On A Boeing Gives Presentation On What To Do In The Unlikely Event Of A Safe Landing https://t.co/2eLx5KYtBJ https://t.co/uoPI2vcvab 
Mike Johnson Unzips Skinsuit Revealing He Was Kevin McCarthy All Along https://t.co/1ANz9nHFrB https://t.co/JBKusAa3H7 
House Votes To Protect Every Country Not Named The United States https://t.co/5eEMdEa0X7 https://t.co/dx6ajZcwgV 
Biden Unveils Official Campaign Slogan 'Death To America' https://t.co/IZYPdRPvmf https://t.co/pjexqpsCww 
Biden Retaliates Against Iran By Attaching Note To Pallet Of Cash That Says 'Please Do Not Use For Terrorism' https://t.co/wO4da0Az84 https://t.co/1FBt3owDXn 
Trump Legal Team Skeptical About Impartiality Of Juror Number Six https://t.co/oYd2OcHgpv https://t.co/bb3mpdeLqA 
NPR Says They Always Strive To Feature A Broad Range Of Opinions From Slightly Communist To Very Communist https://t.co/atb27rh03G https://t.co/SFwRMN5Nt2 
People Angry About Low WNBA Salaries Prepared To Do Anything Except Watch WNBA https://t.co/YFKR8aseHf https://t.co/4lyBlL4kcJ 
House Republicans Demand New Speaker Who Will Be Equally Worthless But Maybe With Different Hair Or A Cool Mustache Or Something https://t.co/ITBA5WABBM https://t.co/6LSXLQOjFZ 
Calvinist Man Placed Under Church Discipline For Patchy Beard https://t.co/4Q7SuY8bCw https://t.co/mm3fAHKycn 
Report: Go To Church You Heathen https://t.co/BfNDwzlkyb https://t.co/EvKsXNKtcP 
Man Searches Through Amazon Jungle For Uncontacted Tribe To Tell Them He Does Crossfit https://t.co/rtZlWtwXA0 https://t.co/4kVLXROLY0 
Oops: Columbia University President Accidentally Gives Nazi Salute When Being Sworn In For Congressional Testimony https://t.co/Ipfeoua8js https://t.co/bi45g4r8GE 
Biden Claims His Uncle's Heart Was Ripped Out During Human Sacrifice Ritual In India
9 Life Hacks To Get Free Hotel Rooms, Flights, And Debit Cards https://t.co/V6Yfeapl50 https://t.co/vVoiB0NF9l 
4D Chess: U.S.-Mexico Border Disguised As Ukrainian Border So Congress Will Defend It