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The Babylon Bee
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Fake news you can trust.

Columbia Switches To Online Classes So Jewish Students Can Participate From The Attics Where They Are Hiding https://t.co/AQsnFkaJ1S

Study Finds Anyone Still Wearing A Mask At This Point Is Probably Just Super Ugly https://t.co/NUIoW70LMu https://t.co/djAdiAIvXy

Palestine Protester Tries To Argue With Skinhead But They Just Agree On Everything https://t.co/rqdc755ihr https://t.co/X7cVcJdMlk

10 Surefire Ways For Republicans To Win The Female Vote https://t.co/Wsr1T5WFNi https://t.co/w1sCHt4oJ9

Columbia Protestors Clarify They Only Want Death To America After America Is Done Paying Their Student Loans https://t.co/wODBfTbaCV https://t.co/NsReJiHkx0

Winning: DeSantis Unveils Massive Circus Cannon That Will Launch Pro-Hamas Protestors All The Way To Gaza https://t.co/u2DgBQETaI https://t.co/dZTMHtuPh6

'Let's Set Aside Distractions,' Says Worship Leader Surrounded By Lasers And Fog https://t.co/0UOBQOxmWD https://t.co/upGeKmkrZb

Abraham Pretty Sure This Feud Between Ishmael And Isaac Will Blow Over Soon https://t.co/N0tvORKzcY https://t.co/NN49hcGmpz

Alec Baldwin Tired Of Everyone Screaming ‘Look Out!’ And Diving To The Ground Every Time He Reaches For His Cell Phone https://t.co/TPD5UfS8ZN https://t.co/v4oewmjcPW

Columbia Admins Promise To Carefully Investigate Whether 'Let’s Kill Every Jew We See On Campus' Chant Violates School’s Conduct Policy https://t.co/zqkQGy2Nki https://t.co/dl5EPzvFrH

Report: People Have Been Thinking All White Men Are Terrible But It Turns Out It's Just Steve https://t.co/wCxT6bXxHq https://t.co/YR8mgodjeP

Ivy League University Installs Jew Detectors At All Entrances https://t.co/DCPFxE0IwQ https://t.co/7cQIiOSdM2

Female Crash Test Dummy Says She Doesn't Know How Car Got Totaled https://t.co/8h1bGANvj8 https://t.co/K1tEik7f5R

'The Tortured Poets Department' Review: We Usually Love Taylor Swift, But We Question Her Decision To Release An Album That's Just An Hour-Long Recording Of Her Sobbing In The Shower https://t.co/nbHjaU3wp3 https://t.co/S7If31AZeM

Tragic: This Man Got Married Young And Never Got To Experience Getting Drunk At Bars And Waking Up Hungover With A New STD Every Morning https://t.co/ZiJ3F8pTFA https://t.co/HLdM3XYxnt

Columbia University Students Reject A Two-Campus Solution https://t.co/UE3BYWoHXi https://t.co/SkPJ3JfJnt