Nabisco Introduces Long-Awaited Chick-fil-A Sauce-Stuffed Oreos https://t.co/0HJnoPWo34 https://t.co/mfKFyeuf9m 
Chuck E. Cheese Oversight Board Decides To Continue To Ban Trump From The Ball Pit https://t.co/6O16Z0eNz2 https://t.co/2LfTcBAiOX 
Trump Wows Met Gala Crowd In 'Rigged Election' Dress https://t.co/ybpj500m6g https://t.co/S7fugtGbz9 
Trump Forced To Wear Hannibal Lecter Muzzle For Gag Order Violations https://t.co/CYfKxbHVBQ https://t.co/CO6TUuqjpg 
Man Reaches Age Where He Carefully Checks ABV% On Every Beer He Drinks https://t.co/AgLPdLot20 https://t.co/d4VyExk4gt 
Hamas Celebrates Proposed Ceasefire With Rocket Barrage https://t.co/md8jr6c0sG https://t.co/klKIzwFknv 
BREAKING: Hamas Offers To Release Zero Hostages In Exchange For All Jews Being Wiped From The Face Of The Earth
Kristi Noem Attends Kentucky Derby To See If Any Horses Need To Be Put Down https://t.co/M6h8UCB4K3 https://t.co/SuojOE7Ypv 
Doctor Reminds You To Arrive Early So You Can Wait Even Longer https://t.co/TZrKcawHYt https://t.co/Phfaxe2aMK 
9 Reasonable Demands From Students Occupying Campus Buildings https://t.co/8jnVIjcGHE https://t.co/eaqIhSPJzU 
Immigration Crisis Ended As Frat Boys Deployed To Guard Southern Border https://t.co/VOz1sP4MHe https://t.co/iGJnnLpjfw 
Mark Hamill Joins Death Star Press Conference To Say What A Good Job He Thinks The Emperor Is Doing https://t.co/HPK4bqcWBU https://t.co/xeVIjMqxGk 
Disney World Announces New 'The Chosen' Roller Coaster Which Goes Underground For 3 Days Before Rising Again https://t.co/jfWKLDefK6 https://t.co/XwE6AnnivN 
History Repeats Itself As Communists Run Out Of Food https://t.co/PtrmsjTho7 https://t.co/hSyqCZJBPE 
Ivy League Grads Slip Below County Fair Carnies On Forbes List Of Most Desirable Employee Candidates https://t.co/8z08q0UVo9
37-Year Old Man Suddenly Remembers That He’s Supposed To Be Worrying About The Hole In The Ozone Layer https://t.co/ySrzkBJyTw https://t.co/jIPxPVPG4e 
Baby Patiently Waiting Until Fully Strapped In Car Seat To Unleash Diaper Apocalypse https://t.co/UlxZ5ZL7m1 https://t.co/aUPNouQi5A 
9 Highly Effective Ways To Remove Protesters From Your Campus https://t.co/FwyN17hggO https://t.co/Bjpiwwfg5e 
Russell Brand's Christianity Called Into Question After Revelation He Has Not Yet Memorized The Lyrics Of DC Talk's 'Jesus Freak' https://t.co/39QjoLHWDS https://t.co/ArN6Surx2N 
Report: Go To Church You Heathen https://t.co/BfNDwzlkyb https://t.co/VLKq5xZfsN 