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The Babylon Bee
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Fake news you can trust.

With Biden Stalling, Israel Announces They Will Just Get American Weapons From Taliban https://t.co/BfUmCvCsUy https://t.co/Uge3Z4IGkU

Pro-Lifer Released From Prison After Saying She Was Blocking Abortion Clinic For Palestine https://t.co/m9WxtTy1pw https://t.co/5ZIaTVubyY

Nancy Pelosi Begins Dressing As Hobo After Learning San Francisco Giving Vodka Shots To Homeless https://t.co/GCeY7hVQEH https://t.co/KbRvA8k62J

'Let's Get Drunk And Hurl Razor-Sharp Winged Needles Across The Bar,' Says Man In Historic Stroke Of Genius https://t.co/jJH58FVZej https://t.co/lW2Yjv700o

With Tithing Down, Pastor Announces Today's Sermon Is Brought To You By Dave's Auto Body Repair Shop https://t.co/hEe6PheDHB https://t.co/jTlX1Ly1qQ

Dublin Opens Portal To Hell — Oh, Wait, It's Just New York https://t.co/eqREg7bpIm https://t.co/l6i4As1blh

Local Hero Prevents Red Lobster From Closing Down By Continuing To Order Endless Shrimp https://t.co/SCxzY7uIUn https://t.co/dWlcQN4yjC

Here Are Biden's 10 Conditions For Debating Trump https://t.co/Hl4ClmqaAb https://t.co/yzEEZe7ZHL

Having Solved Climate Change, Greta Thunberg Turns Attention To Middle East Peace https://t.co/FIoqVxDLgG https://t.co/iIC92gtVxq

Border Patrol Not Too Sure About This 'Mohammed Sanchez' Guy https://t.co/jo4lxioyDM https://t.co/0vBmDxcYaN

'Hang On, Let Me Check The Distance With My Rangefinder,' Says Guy About To Duff Ball 6 Inches https://t.co/XEi65tahuA https://t.co/Hb2sv5uW51

Exercise And 10 Other Dangerous Far-Right Health Conspiracies https://t.co/9PbMnnDHME https://t.co/VV5I2w2bFX

White House Installs Breathalyzer On Kamala Harris’s Microphone https://t.co/nHxek3vuDe https://t.co/ObRcVCt1L4

8 Telltale Signs Your College Professor Is A Secret Conservative https://t.co/je8w57rNwt https://t.co/51HinY9QdX

Biden Unveils Cool New Look And Campaign Slogan 'Make United States Superb A Second Time' https://t.co/KAwiKT2I3S https://t.co/5HEGNGn1e7

37-Year-Old Man Pretty Sure He Missed His Calling To Serve On A Ticonderoga-Class Guided Missile Cruiser https://t.co/IwbIGr9wvt https://t.co/CEAMW7XpxD

DeSantis Just Signed These 12 BASED Executive Orders https://t.co/QJew6tOlSC https://t.co/aQHyOQKY2c