LASIK Surgeon Offering ‘Total Blindness’ Option For Pride Month https://t.co/CSGU7lHcL8 https://t.co/heMcs3Bhpi 
Disaster As Adam Forgets Adage 'Leaves Of Three, Let Them Be' When Making First Leafy Covering https://t.co/rs67NCGFkl https://t.co/SKIOtC0abw 
Theology Update: Bible Scholars Now Believe The 'P' in 'Psalms' Not Supposed To Be Silent https://t.co/BkkMQqNt0V https://t.co/7zYo1Dh3jQ 
Success Of 'Lilo & Stitch' Teaches Disney Important Lesson To Just Keep Pumping Out Live-Action Remakes Forever https://t.co/5wYcFRCMty https://t.co/sx6Y6dcEV9 
California Unveils Massive New Escape Room Called ‘California’ https://t.co/BUXy3Jq5iI https://t.co/HWhHZMSaJ3 
The Babylon Bee Has Acquired The Starbucks Employee Union List Of Demands https://t.co/0qBsGXj5lx https://t.co/ybvgkmZKJX 
Trump Responds To Putin's Charge Of Him Being Emotional With An All-Caps Tweet https://t.co/0fQ3xxAXXD https://t.co/upBzEvjVuZ 
Biden, Macron Team Up To Form Support Group For Battered And Abused World Leaders https://t.co/msn0TfWfoa https://t.co/9WWWXAr9wR 
South African President Says Skulls Of Murdered White Farmers Just Halloween Decorations https://t.co/ZJsfub2GRD https://t.co/8eLXZfcRjh 
Harvard Warns Loss Of Federal Funding Will Cripple Their Ability To Find A Final Solution To The Jewish Problem https://t.co/KNF4wzETW2 https://t.co/xPHtvxQA7w 
Man Honors Fallen Soldiers By Purchasing Refrigerator At Incredible Discount https://t.co/MGfwN3Js94 https://t.co/kMk0pJgmMP 
Mechanic Determines Car Repairs Will Cost Whatever Your Whole Paycheck Is This Month https://t.co/9O4M6vQ8zs https://t.co/m4PTMXntGL 
French President Macron Claims He Fell Down The Stairs Again https://t.co/qCMzQocuBq https://t.co/GUfON7d3I3 
Oh No: Phil Robertson Greeted In Heaven By 12 Million Angry Ducks https://t.co/kKqMfyxGVi https://t.co/qthqXCQvUl 
Veterans Brace For Onslaught Of 'Happy Memorial Day' Greetings https://t.co/6P65EHhiac https://t.co/1FLTLOGK4X 
Man Who Uses 37 Matches To Start BBQ Grill Pretty Sure He Could Survive Alone In The Woods Of Alaska https://t.co/YXUNGQpCyC https://t.co/AAYrDwwzNJ 
On Memorial Day, America Honors Fallen Soldier AOC For Her Service On January 6th
Historians: Women Invented Grilling To Trick Men Into Cooking https://t.co/sU8l1sCgXu https://t.co/zRWy5ZG221 
Woman Enters 8th Hour Of Argument She's Having With Husband Entirely In Her Head https://t.co/dLiWRN5DIs https://t.co/uL1fDIax8J 
RT @Not_the_Bee: Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty patriarch, has passed away https://t.co/lWi0JC7TUr
Biden Calls On Deplorable Garbage Nazis To Tone Down The Rhetoric https://t.co/Bgf76aocJe https://t.co/u9Hqi9uGfr 
Tim Walz Says He Never Would Have Had Affair With Chinese Communist Official’s Daughter If He Had Known She Was a Woman https://t.co/SV26n9r6Oc https://t.co/tLEy7YRIPU 
Disney Chooses Bald Actress To Play Rapunzel In Live-Action Remake https://t.co/KpYD9f1eJg https://t.co/f1QryrR0Kp 
Wife's Home Improvement Project Takes 10x Longer Than Projected As She Keeps Stopping To Set Up Tripod https://t.co/q9Rl30Sfxu https://t.co/AFjkCXDgw1 
Sad: X Ban Leaves Brazilians Without Reliable Access To AI-Generated Images Of Elon Musk And Donald Trump Riding Dinosaurs Through The Death Star https://t.co/MdHHvw8ily https://t.co/TVcBn4CxiH 
People At Burning Man Punished By Being At Burning Man https://t.co/3LBTDcGmBE https://t.co/MtVZ0oFSsH 
J.R.R. Tolkien Returns With Army Of The Dead To Destroy Everyone Trying To Make 'Lord Of The Rings' Woke https://t.co/42bF1Cv2Al https://t.co/g1kDZPdk7C 
White House Assures Inflation Is Only Affecting People Who Need To Buy Stuff https://t.co/C6FVjZS3n1 https://t.co/Q8OSj7sR7k 
Scholars Confirm For Jesus's Second Miracle He Turned White Claws Back Into Water https://t.co/SODABMgxIY https://t.co/J1lD9gxa9I 
Dad Fervently Praying For Rapture Before He Has To Have ‘The Talk’ With His Son https://t.co/o1FyMntqF4 https://t.co/mULTql8sav 
Boxing Training Gives Man Skills To Defend Himself If He's Ever Assaulted By A 60-Pound Cylindrical Beanbag https://t.co/O4DIyyitBw https://t.co/PLwGa1EZ6B 
'I Am Ready To Take Up Arms In Another Crusade,' Says Man Who Has Carpal Tunnel From Playing 'Elden Ring' https://t.co/7XE64ZuCcc https://t.co/u99guu7tGW 
Primary Cause Of Global Warming Found To Be Massive Dumpster Fire Burning At 1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC https://t.co/lhEzHswaR2 https://t.co/H4ndPUkTb5 
Nation's Libertarians Renew Push For 365 Federal Holidays A Year https://t.co/hUbDoBHc8o https://t.co/1lDp6sXX70 
After Dismissing Warnings From His Mother, Tucker Carlson's Face Is Now Stuck That Way https://t.co/GD5sEPOMiZ https://t.co/rotgyYIS58 
Man Commits Barbeque Faux Pas By Eating Corn On The Cob Without Saying 'Mmmm, This Is Good Corn' https://t.co/uQN4swSeRX https://t.co/CFsGVCX6Ox 
Source Says Kamala Was Promoted At McDonald's After Having Affair With Mayor McCheese https://t.co/k5ThaVb2VB https://t.co/bQStM10kNI 
Amazon Delivers Another Pile Of Unwanted Crap To Your House https://t.co/rlZ6LhAMxp https://t.co/DjcnhUZvhc 
Man Wears Mask To Let People Know He’s Terrible At Risk Analysis https://t.co/i3gp2GLVhN https://t.co/w2hSQ4U184 
Man Glad He Has A Day Off Work So He Can Work For Wife Instead https://t.co/TyJpDhLVRH https://t.co/B41RUKthVI 