Secret Service Vows To Find Out What Went Wrong At The Trump Rally As Soon As They Figure Out Who Left Cocaine In The White House https://t.co/l8uvIB5rYX https://t.co/byhlTBcAVM

Biden Tells Americans That We Must Eliminate Political Violence And Also Donald Trump https://t.co/kPj4qSVJwE https://t.co/giqpBvcyTO

12 Women Come Forward Alleging They Were Sexually Assaulted By Whoever Trump’s VP Pick Is https://t.co/AhKIIOGXGQ https://t.co/N7oU0hORU9

Secret Service Beefs Up Trump’s Security With Squad Of Blind Midgets https://t.co/cytTtyGysZ https://t.co/mianE1cW0X

Democrats Order Flags To Be Flown At Half-Staff As Trump Still Alive https://t.co/r50VDLo7w1 https://t.co/UTwBC2HPdE

'Up Yours, Woke Moralists!' Cries Jordan Peterson While Attempting To Ride The Ostriches At The Zoo https://t.co/UMxLV5gnjW https://t.co/ldgQkFpd7i

Trump Indicted For Inciting Assassination Attempt https://t.co/sBlGGV8QvE https://t.co/JgXrAHnJ75

FBI Wonders If Perhaps They’ve Been Investigating The Wrong People This Whole Time https://t.co/PWsrf2xOZp https://t.co/02hgX2SYT4

Trump Indicted For Inciting Assassination Attempt https://t.co/sBlGGV8QvE https://t.co/bRttmRnQhN

Trump Safe, Leaving Only One Dead Candidate https://t.co/jraYMmSPUX https://t.co/terl88iJ1t

CNN: 'Clumsy Trump Hits Head On Bullet' https://t.co/7KSqs5OIIi https://t.co/3HS18Kll7n

Party That Called Trump 'Hitler' For 8 Years Shocked As Someone Tries To Assassinate Him https://t.co/9zTv1SsnMc https://t.co/Wr5BNapizb

Cybertruck To Come With Deployable Scoop For Removing Climate Change Protesters From Roadway https://t.co/UAxf55XVgG https://t.co/vGrqxbKadu

People Who Would Never Cheat In Elections Horrified By ‘Stop Cheating In Elections’ Bill https://t.co/YF2CKyjEUz https://t.co/a0PXRkEAJ8

Elderly Surgeon Assures Patients He’s Still Lucid Between 10 A.M. And 4 P.M. https://t.co/NvcwG5RmRU https://t.co/39iBFxwWFf

Excitement Builds For First Olympic Games Held In Muslim Country https://t.co/c8Wgiqmm9s https://t.co/dIvue6SP0H

AW HECK YEAH: This Kid Ignored His Mom Telling Him Not To Stand By Microwave And Now He Has Sweet Mutant Powers https://t.co/50P8F1uyv5 https://t.co/0IyaUJcNHj

Oh No! Biden Starting To Turn Blue After Aides Forgot To Include His ‘Remember To Breathe’ Card https://t.co/fjGFxkpxGt https://t.co/yKf3W2NnnA

Republican Party Implements Emergency Platform Change After Seeing How Close They Are To Winning Landslide Victory https://t.co/LzrcTHY4js https://t.co/ju0myd0Iuy

Several Injured In Brawl When Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses Arrive On Porch At Same Time https://t.co/12MKDJvNIN https://t.co/Vf5khO5Me7