Mom Sets Record By Enjoying 3 Sips Of Coffee Before Being Bothered By Children https://t.co/ApUC2p9BoH https://t.co/lzbFmYWWMm

Boeing Compensates Stranded Astronauts With $50 Red Lobster Gift Cards https://t.co/5kWU89dt2H https://t.co/xp2FevbP4j

Strong, Independent Woman Accompanies Strong, Independent Woman To Restroom https://t.co/9nvO0F8AVC https://t.co/bPOU2SSumN

Kamala Harris Distances Herself From Kamala Harris https://t.co/ETW2mwCmD4 https://t.co/dGI04NZZB2

Christian Reading The Book Of Revelation Suddenly Realizes He Is On The Right Side Of History https://t.co/8GyTsAstGP https://t.co/KItSIc1uV5

The Babylon Bee Presents: A Back-To-School Shopping List For Your Liberal Child https://t.co/tolSORH19a https://t.co/LmDIFR0FVR

Solution To Government-Created Problem Is More Government, Says Government https://t.co/rfbw1qWAnM https://t.co/8l0ZRRe6u7

Man Tries To Get Into Heaven By Showing God Ukraine Flag In His Twitter Bio https://t.co/TBwDeXU8LG https://t.co/MTHvVRteVV

8 Harrowing War Stories From Tim Walz, The Man Who Was There https://t.co/1K7K5APYDq https://t.co/Q8piMi3V2W

Journalists Confused By Presidential Candidate Standing In Front Of Cameras And Answering Questions https://t.co/sykQLJSrcF https://t.co/jUqrH1Ul1t

Driver Really Beginning To Regret Stopping At Crosswalk For Homeschool Family https://t.co/rgCP6vPIQi https://t.co/C19tYzpsUl

Tim Walz Clarifies That He's Never Been To Iraq, But He Has Been To Downtown Minneapolis Which Is Basically The Same Thing https://t.co/54xKVEyol8 https://t.co/HjnD1kKrvZ

This is still satire (for now), but you can find real headlines that are just as ridiculous over at @NotTheBeeSports. https://t.co/6Kh4YrtciE

Taylor Swift Jet Launches Retaliatory Strike On ISIS Stronghold https://t.co/xkoPD9ecig https://t.co/zzOjnZqC4Q

Trump Concerned If He Beats Kamala In Debate They Might Replace Her With Someone Good This Time https://t.co/LrTuAymH0K https://t.co/v9AJF4BVeS

‘WHO NEEDS A TAMPON??’ Bellows Tim Walz Kicking In Middle School Boys' Bathroom Stall Door https://t.co/C74YkeyFQY https://t.co/qXKGUrJKCT

New Bill In Congress Hires An IRS Agent To Live In Every Home https://t.co/SZ274rDy2f https://t.co/0x3LBwzkZP

Sorry Excuse For A Man Asks For Help At Home Depot https://t.co/riKYfA3K3z https://t.co/WumIy2fbUt

Referee Warns Olympic Women’s Boxing Finalists Not To Punch Each Other In The Testicles https://t.co/PoUw947hCa https://t.co/m165x15JCk

The Babylon Bee Presents: A Back-To-School Shopping List For Your Conservative Child https://t.co/6HEE1if5Rs https://t.co/BZVvWZx1Mk