Merrick Garland Warns If Anyone Insults Migrants Again He Will Call In Another Bomb Threat https://t.co/pt99nT2St7 https://t.co/nfRcVmHaA2

Hillary Clinton Asked To Leave Costco After Repeatedly Accusing Sample Lady Of Being A Russian Asset https://t.co/eFS0opV7NT https://t.co/aoui9UvUCM

Dove Soap To Replace Bird Logo With More Body-Positive Manatee https://t.co/a7GoAiwqAC https://t.co/OdIgtPk3ND

In Latest Bond Film, 007 Tasked With Taking Down 83-Year-Old British Grandma Who Shared Inaccurate Meme https://t.co/6qYAi4LpOg https://t.co/ay1A4c9xTa

Daily Wire Hoping 'Am I Racist?' Movie Earns Enough Money To Afford A Better Wig For Matt Walsh https://t.co/CiSj5B45vB https://t.co/G9Um8IedDq

How To Pay Off Your Crushing Student Debts Once You’ve Already Sold Your Non-Vital Organs https://t.co/XE46oOLM7p https://t.co/E3At6SX3lT

Democrats Express Relief That Hitler Is OK https://t.co/hphUsbnBHa https://t.co/12Z35JaqbF

Vatican Installs 'Heresy Jar' In Pope's Office https://t.co/AwWCkLNCVc https://t.co/1pLGfJRieU

Guy At British Restaurant Not Sure If Chef Messed Up His Meal Or If It's Just Supposed To Taste Bad https://t.co/uhsD9bS7FV https://t.co/4pKlTAcSuR

11 New Security Measures The Trump Campaign Will Be Implementing After Assassination Attempt https://t.co/SKEGaxjiqk https://t.co/j4hi9m4NUt

Oh No! Tim Walz Just Waved So Hard His Arms Flew Off! https://t.co/zzkFMHJLmd https://t.co/iy6rDx6iEE

Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview https://t.co/TBSrgLPDEo https://t.co/aEKiutgA4u

Democrats Accuse Trump Of Inciting Further Violence By Not Dying https://t.co/0nEo2Yo9fb https://t.co/vQeoThwNgL

Women Scientists Say Every Missing Limb On Animal Increases Cuteness 400% https://t.co/dutHOFrqEe https://t.co/B7SD9NCw6B

Subway Begins Promotional Offer Where They Will Use Real Meat For A Limited Time https://t.co/xMzYdGe1KU https://t.co/bv5ndkOBSA

Most Successful Pedophile Bust Ever As Feds Just Arrest Any Adult Alone At Disneyland https://t.co/cY8iWBcT9T https://t.co/0Fpqh0TOSj

Report: Trump Furious As Would-Be Assassin Fired Gun Right In His Backswing https://t.co/Z1Voa0YqYu https://t.co/9novoD7dTE

Woman Who Made Career Singing About Her Bad Choices Endorses Kamala https://t.co/ElRh1qua7t https://t.co/MrPl71iYei

Media Assures Americans The Real Threat Is The Side That Keeps Getting Shot At https://t.co/1TufOHyh7q https://t.co/FRphXjmOYU

Party That Called Trump 'Hitler' For 8 Years Shocked As Someone Tries To Assassinate Him https://t.co/9zTv1SsnMc https://t.co/9DESyIFVno