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helplessduck
f766b971abee76c4578c62c0958568f33ef3b9dd8a9710e710afc2708c804184
Control issues and perfectionism are among my many neuroses. Twitter Diaspora. I swear a lot. I do drugs (the good kind). I'm a socialist. I studied art in school. Beyond that: US Politics, environmental conservation, mental health, organic gardening, and my employer Ramses, That Damn Cat. Sometimes I have really shitty takes. He/Him/Michael/Arrogant jackass. Header Image: Black Bar Avatar: Ridiculous DALL E generated artificial duck. Full #AltText description on pinned post.

Oh my God is it Thursday?

And that's how they all died.

Harumph.

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Ain't no body that stupid. She kept 13 keys and is having the time of her fuckin' life right just now.

She's clearly having an existential crisis.

I just burped so hard The Damn Cat ™️ has up and done caught a case of that PTSD.

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Newp. You are not the asshole.

I can't stand people bothering me when I'm laid up.

"Michael, I can't believe that you just sit in this house all day and listen to classical music."

"It's not all day, I'm not always sitting, and it's actually mostly baroque. Don't be a jackass."

🎶 Noooooooo🎵

PULL!!

Two eggs over light.

Dry Toast. Wheat.

One double ham.

I could wreck a Waffle House right just now.

*dives off pier because he doesn't want to participate in THAT madness. *

Okay,

I burned the shit out of my one and only right hand and it hurts like a son of a bitch. Tragically, I can't cut it off because, wouldn't you know it? I'm right-handed! I'll be damned, amirite?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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I'm kinda pissed off that you have a bakery.

It took ten years for my idiot village to get a damn Dollar Gerneral.

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Alas, alack, alas we lack clarity as to my true intentions.

I think I wanted a sammich, but I don't think anyone can ever know now.