Oh my God is it Thursday?
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For the lov...
Go to bed.
Get on now!
And that's how they all died.
Harumph.
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Ain't no body that stupid. She kept 13 keys and is having the time of her fuckin' life right just now.
She's clearly having an existential crisis.
I just burped so hard The Damn Cat ™️ has up and done caught a case of that PTSD.
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"If I held your breath, at least we would touch."
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Newp. You are not the asshole.
I can't stand people bothering me when I'm laid up.
"Michael, I can't believe that you just sit in this house all day and listen to classical music."
"It's not all day, I'm not always sitting, and it's actually mostly baroque. Don't be a jackass."
🎶 Noooooooo🎵
PULL!!
Two eggs over light.
Dry Toast. Wheat.
One double ham.
I could wreck a Waffle House right just now.
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I forgot! I use Coppertone with a low SPF!
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You know, I almost never wear sunscreen.
*dives off pier because he doesn't want to participate in THAT madness. *
Okay,
I burned the shit out of my one and only right hand and it hurts like a son of a bitch. Tragically, I can't cut it off because, wouldn't you know it? I'm right-handed! I'll be damned, amirite?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I'm kinda pissed off that you have a bakery.
It took ten years for my idiot village to get a damn Dollar Gerneral.
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Maldon and Kerrygold it better have been!
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Alas, alack, alas we lack clarity as to my true intentions.
I think I wanted a sammich, but I don't think anyone can ever know now.
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Probably not.
I dunno. I haven't cut into it yet.