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SunlitSoul
f9580ab9167bd4622f9038691a62854e702d38e3d8d206d7c0c832b6f4771b95
Building a joyful, free life. Here for truth & real connection.

I went on a first date for brunch today… it was nice. We talked for 3hrs…

First, this is normal with me… many strangers (anywhere) end up in deep conversation with me for a long time.

And I thought— wow, ok, I am meeting a man who is smart, good with money and we value the same things. He’s good-looking too.

But at the end, he stood up… and he was… um… shorter than me. And I was turned off. 🙈

🥺

I am fully attracted to men who are taller than me. I want to feel small and cared for and protected or something.

I mean— there are tall women out there who love short kings and women out there who are also shorter than short men. Right?? There’s someone out there for everyone’s way of being.

Ugh… it just seems difficult to find someone who matches. And when I find someone who seems to match, there’s always something else off. But height is a dealbreaker for me— not because I chose it— do we really choose what we’re attracted to or not??

It makes me wonder… Father, like… did you create any taller-than-me match out there for lil ol’ me?? Cuz geez louise… will I die alone for lack of tall men who match my wonderful uniqueness?? 😂

Anyway… If you were in this man’s shoes, any advice on how I could proceed in as gentle and kind way as possible. 🙏🏽 we can’t control height so he’s done absolutely nothing wrong. 🥺

Here we go… Truth 1:

I have a relationship with God… the Higher Power, the Universe… whatever is out there that created us… I am in touch with Power.

It is strange, sometimes weird, sometimes what the heck is going on—

Someone Invisible is listening to me and answering me… my questions, my concerns, my prayers answered… and… also warning me and guiding me. I would literally get dreams sometimes when I’m being warned about something and sense when I’m supposed to take a certain step.

It is exhilarating, veryyy humbling, I want to shout it from the rooftops and yet also keep it hush hush cuz I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging.

Honestly I did nothing special, I don’t think. I asked God— why am I in touch seemingly more than others? And I got— because I’m a single mom.

The more vulnerable a position a human is in, the more they seem to depend and come to God frequently. But if I had someone who protected and provided for me or if I had a lot of money, I would’ve probably be coming to only God a lot less.

It isn’t wrong to come to God less— it is a beautiful thing to have the provision and protection of good men… it just means God is providing through supportive humans around us. Our honor and gratefulness to our supportive village is honor to God as well.

Replying to SunlitSoul

I say this as a reminder to myself. I am not there yet. I am not this person right now. I get so easily distracted and I tend to want to comfort myself when I’m overwhelmed with watching TV, scrolling social media, and well… my new addiction— becoming the best Spades player 😂.

When there are too many responsibilities, I can want to shut down and escape the world and just have fun.

So I’m new here… just trying to find my footing.

I want this space to be different from regular social media.

Could I be honest to the core?

Could I be vulnerable?

Could I show more than the polished parts of me?

I feel excited to share my voice.

And… I fear the shame that might come if I express something unpopular.

Still, I’m here. Choosing truth over approval.

Replying to Avatar mcshane

full report for friends asking:

Freak accident last night, slipped and fell at a BBQ, and a fillet knife sliced my peroneal nerve and a major artery, all the way into my shin bone. I didn’t feel anything, but I looked down and saw my bone and the wound pouring.

I was bleeding out fast. I applied pressure with my hand directly on the exposed artery and bone and hopped over to my friends. My friends and I tied a tank top around the wound, jammed in a pen for a makeshift tourniquet, wound it up tight to stop the bloodflow, then made two more above and below the wound with our shirts. That quick response bought me enough time for my friend to get me to the ER.

We waited in the ER for about an hour before getting seen by a nurse. She opened the tourniquet, took pressure off, and she got sprayed, shin exposed, artery wide open. She tried to clean it a bit the we out the pressure back on. Then we sat in the hallway to wait for a doctor.

The ER doc said they weren’t equipped to stop the bleeding. At this point I’m getting dizzy and shaky cause the shock was wearing off. Very nervous. They said they weren’t outfitted to handle that kind of bleeding, so they didn’t want to dress it. They spent some time debating whether to gamble and try to close it themselves, or spend hours transferring me to a severe trauma surgeon in another hospital.

Finally, one doctor made the call. He joked I was holding up the patient line. He opened the tourniquet, cleaned the wound, and stitched the artery, deep tissue, fascia, and everything back together, inside and out. Two hours and several injections of antibiotics and pain killers later, I was stitched up and stable.

I’m home now. Stuck in bed, leg elevated. Can’t walk or move much. The pain didn’t hit until this morning and it’s unbearable to be honest. Never had anything like it. The doctors said I’m incredibly lucky.

Still waiting to see if I’ll need surgery, depending in how the nerves and tissues heal, and how bad the nerve damage is. Had a nice house call today to reassess and clean and get more pain killers and antibiotic injections. They said fortunately it was a very sharp knife, so the nerves may reconnect smooth. There’s a lot of parts of my leg that numb out randomly, and some drop foot when I try to move, but I’m optimistic it will heal well. Not too much bleeding so the artery seems good. Just monitoring for infection and trying to manage pain and inflammation now.

No swimming, no jiu-jitsu, no walking for a while. But I’m really grateful for the helpful visitors, my neighbors, the support, and especially the friends who stayed calm under pressure and saved my life.

Anyway, accidents happen. Going as well as can be. I’m definitely going to invest some more time into emergency prep, and I think it's worthwhile for everyone to consider learning some basics too. If you have any suggested material on this please send it 🤙

I am so glad your friends were there to support and help. And I’m so glad everything is going well. Praying for all to continue healing well 🙏🏽

Replying to SunlitSoul

#nostr #sunlitsoul #quotes

Asking my AI what Plebchain means…

[🔹 Meaning of “Plebchain”:

• “Pleb” is slang for everyday person — in crypto culture, it usually refers to regular users (not elites, whales, or influencers).

• “Chain” refers to blockchain — but more loosely here, it symbolizes the decentralized network of people building, posting, and connecting.

So “Plebchain” = a network of everyday people building the future together.]

Hmm… I wonder what we will build 🤔

#introductions #plebchain

Good night Dog! It’s like 2:14am over here 🫩

Thank you for the warm welcome! Your style of writing/expressing yourself resonates with me.

Replying to Avatar The Dog

I Believe selling your Nostr account is impractical and morally wrong, it voids all meaning and trust to people.

I have received an offer to potentially purchase my old Uno NPUB, which I turned down without a second thought.

This is nothing against the person who offered, they are cool, a good friend, and don’t think it would be used maliciously, however I am not here for publicity or personal financial gains, and I believe that it is wrong to do ethically as well.

People follow you because they find value in what you share, this kind of lets people who support you down as well and causes confusion.

When I first joined Nostr as many know, I ran my LightX account for a while, coming from X/Twitter and following a lot of the people there, I did come here for attention, I admit that, it’s true, I wanted clout on the internet.

I ran giveaways and stuff of sats to try and get attention, it worked but not in a good way, many of the methods were viewed by many as shady, and they were right.

I got called out for it a lot and I rage quit, people told me back then I should have sold that account too for profit.

I have come a very long way since joining and my views and morals have changed, I have come to love Nostr as a place where we can express ourselves and have a good time, rather than a means to personal gains.

Which is why I have tried to put everything I can into this community now, as I feel I was a burden to it then.

Many of you know this story already, but many probably don’t.

I want to be completely honest and open about it.

I switched to this NPUB as a fresh start, not from my community but in hopes of starting a new path as well and continuing as I have this past year.

Thank you all, I love this community, I am not going anywhere and I will FIGHT to protect it always.

🐶 🫂

But is it always morally wrong? If I own a business, I don’t ask my customers for permission to sell it when I am done with it. However, I can be transparent about the change about to happen. Also, people should be reading and making their own decisions as to whom they follow and continue to follow.

If hands were changed but people still like the content, nobody is harmed by it… in the end, the reader is responsible for their choices of whom they follow because of their content and whom they will unfollow because the content no longer serves them.

I’m careful what I call immoral because I don’t want to cheapen the word to things that don’t truly harm anyone. I wonder if I’m missing something though. I’m open to learning.