I wonder if trees are allergic to our sperm too.

-kinngshaun, Mar 2016

Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is

to wake up the world.

-SubotaiKhan, Mar 2016

Watching porn and masturbating is like watching the food network and eating

bread.

-BigVoter, Mar 2015

If there is a hell, I hope the asshole who invented those "manually type your

resume information into these blank fields" is being tortured the hardest

-lazarus870, Mar 2016

If people ever stop using the word 'baby' to refer to sexual/romantic

partners, our era if music is going to be weird to listen to.

-gypsyWizard, Aug 2015

What if extra-terrestrial doesnt come visit earth because they're light years

away and fear the dinosaurs they see.

-newyork89, Mar 2015

The way that chillies have evolved to avoid being eaten has completely

backfired

-BlueD_, Nov 2014

I've never been big on going to Japan, but if Nintendo made a Disney-land

style theme park called Nintendoland with all the different characters and

worlds as attractions, I'd blow all of my savings on the first flight over

-ccbuddyrider, Feb 2015

The guy who did the cinematography for the film JFK (1991), has "shot JFK" on

his resume.

-realwalkindude, Dec 2015

Bullets are the only things that do their job only after they are fired.

-Flatline_hun, Jul 2015

If the Bachelor was Mormon, the show would only be 1 episode.

-Urwinator, Sep 2013

If a World War 3 happens, it would get really awkward online as we are able to

talk with our enemies

-HowManyLettersCanFi, Jan 2016

Even if you managed to legitimately catch a ghost on camera, it's so easy to

fake that nobody would ever believe you.

-DaeronTheHandsome, Dec 2014

Because telescopes work using mirrors, we will never know if space is full of

space vampires.

-[deleted], Oct 2016

Homeless people are the ultimate proof that ignoring a problem doesn't make it

go away.

-TouchedThePoop, May 2015

Someone should start an uber-like service just with pick up trucks to help

move beds or pick up big packages.

-yestopoopjokes, Aug 2016

About 30 years ago, President Nixon was almost impeached for wire tapping one

building. Today, the U.S. Government (including the President) can record data

from all our phones

-Musicaltheaterguy, May 2015

If i owned a taser I'd probably get curious to see how it feels and taser

myself and that's why i dont own a taser.

-Cock_Vomit, Mar 2016

To announce who the new Batman was they should have released an image of the

actor in costume then have people work out who he is from the face to see if

Batman's disguise is good enough.

-do0_, Jul 2015

My child will likely never know the reflex when a song ends to automatically

'hear' the next song start playing in his head... some people reading this

here probably don't even know what I'm talking about.

-therealfarmerjoe, Apr 2015