The fact that there is a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a

lot about the traffic trends.

-kevinjacob, Feb 2015

Wouldn't cigarette companies benefit from finding a cure for cancer?

-joepostman, Jun 2016

Just realised that Popeye, my favourite cartoon when I was a kid, was

basically about a guy who took performance enhancing drugs to rescue his

girlfriend from abduction, forced marriage and rape.

-[deleted], Jul 2016

With as much as I use my cell phone I don't believe it's ever made an

appearance in one of my dreams

-Nogger_smogger, Sep 2016

In high school, girls dating college guys were cool. In college, guys dating

girls in high school are losers.

-Durden11, Aug 2016

60% of the world population is Asian but I dont think I've ever seen a

pregnant Asian woman in real life

-AmiriteClyde, Jan 2014

They should make a Canadian GTA so you don't have to pay the hospital every

time you die

-FostralianManifesto, Dec 2014

If a commercial annoys me, I'll go out of my way to avoid using the product.

-Death2Leviathan, Oct 2016

You should be able to scan the barcode of books you already own and get an

ebook version for free.

-BasrieI, Jan 2015

When you change the w's in "where, what, and when" to t's you get the answers:

"there, that, and then".

-[deleted], Sep 2014

Everyone can speak telepathically, but no one knows how to listen

-Veritoss43, Oct 2014

Patriotism is not about loving your country blindly. It is about accepting its

flaws and solving them little by little

-Gerakison, Aug 2016

I wonder if I've ever eaten a crab that was caught on TV.

-Rhino200, Jul 2014

most of the people i see driving around in retired police cars look the sort

of people who've spent plenty of time in the back of police cars

-3ntl3r, Jan 2016

If your wife has a friend that annoys you, don't tell your wife to stop being

friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is.

-thehofstetter, Jun 2015

Time travel might be discovered before it's invented

-HeyItsMascot, Jun 2016

There should be an apologetic car horn so when you fuck up in traffic you can

say sorry without upsetting the other driver even more.

-JMB-X, Mar 2016

People who actually have Celiac disease must be grateful for all the

fakers... they now have 10x more products to choose from

-emzmurcko, Nov 2015

If something is "unfoldable", does that mean that you can't fold it, or that

you can unfold it?

-jonnis2206, Dec 2014

Every public bathroom toilet should have a foot pedal to flush instead of a

handle.

-Xx-Arseus-xX, Jul 2016