I was with you until here “Since you own your data you should be able to say how others interact with it, which only zaps allows for. “
I disagree - you can control how you see their interactions with your notes, but you can’t control their interactions.
And it’s not really “owning” in the traditional sense. They have copies of it just like you do, it’s just proved that it came from you.
And if you don’t back up your posts, and relays don’t save them, you won’t take them anywhere because they don’t exist anymore.