There were a few conversations I reflected on this week, and in most of them, I could and should have responded better.

1. Identifying women as a group tied to gossiping :

The idea of gossip is to get together and bitch abt other people - something I don’t have the time, see a need nor enjoy. If I share something in confidence, it’s to people I trust and people who are growth focused. But given I grew up with a bunch of boys, I know more boys who gossip than women do, just saying. I should have just made fun of this and leave it be =)

2. Women are often attacked on Nostr :

Controversial take, but often times, it’s crying wolf, and attention seeking. Sometimes it’s true (and happens everywhere else too). ‘Me too’ movement brought out good and bad.

3. This idea that powerful women only rise because of Affirmative Action :

This take was immature - I should have just made fun of it and leave it be. I almost went to prison this year fighting for merits in a country that promotes AA for majority (story for another day). But there seems to be a real confusion in the US (and Canada).

4. Do merits count ? :

Of course. Don’t promote anyone who don’t qualify.

But, bias exist against women and minority. At an engineering interviewing at 20, first qs : why I decided to get a job and not get married. Second Qs : if I had kids, will I continue working.

5. Does bias exist against white men?

Yes. I have a friend, ridiculously smart Texan, did not get promoted because of AA for women, and the women he was going against was not even close to his capabilities and effort he put in. It’s a real problem in the US. Way lesser compared to women in general, but can’t pretend it doesn’t exist.

Also unfortunately white men can't make fun of blacks, minorities and are expected to succeed because they are white. I mean there are many who are clueless, mean and shallow toward other cultures, but not all. And unfortunately everyone is subjected to the same bias.

6. Are all male bosses jerks ?

No. Both the male bosses I’ve had pushed my career very far. My brother is an amazing manager too. My team has had great men and women who both work smart and hard. But there will be a jerks here and there.

7. Are men who are right / far right have diff expectations of women, compared to men who are left / far left.

Tough one. It’s both yes and no. This is something I brought up and I should have worded better. I'm from SEA but my gramps is a Texan Republican and a fine man, a good man, and everything a gentlemen should be. I have male friends who are right and left in the US , and both are great. But sometimes here at Nostr, it does feel a bit overwhelming. Not all, just a few .

8. Is right > left, left >right ?

I’m politically atheist and I am not a fan of either.

But I think if Nostr wants to be open for all, then the builders and the early adopters have to have an open mindset to be open for all. Otherwise even if people want to join, they will feel unwelcome. Right now there are many eject buttons.

At the end of the day, people hold on to a set of believes, whether it’s religion, culture, politics, sun, star, science etc. And get shaken up when someone else believe something else.

I've def made a lot of mistakes along the way and I find reflection to be important and its a learning curve for me to be more open. And humour. Def adopt humour.