The Grieving Process and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Grieving is incredibly difficult, and it’s never a straight line. It feels like breaking free from a mental dependency you never asked for and never realized was forced upon you.
What they did had nothing to do with you personally. They saw how amazing you were, and unfortunately, they decided they had to have that.
They were dishonest from the very beginning.
These are deeply unwell people—ones we cannot save. The only thing we can do is escape and rebuild ourselves. No matter what you did, it could never bring about a lasting, positive change. A narcissist hates themselves, is filled with rage, and is highly manipulative.
Recovery is tough. Narcissistic abuse literally causes brain damage.
To them, we were just a shiny new toy they had to play with. It’s that simple. They pretended to care, then tried to crush us to fit their own wounded, distorted inner world. They don’t love. They only have temporary obsessions. They may stay and continue the abuse long after their infatuation fades—if you keep giving them something they want, like money, attention, housing, or control.
They will take everything they can until you have nothing left.
Never let it get to that point.
What a narcissist did to me was not my fault. They believe they were the ones hurt, that they are the victims.
They only cared about what they could take from us. They never truly saw us, never connected with us. It was all a lie. An act. A scam.
It doesn’t matter who hurt who first, what disorder they have, or why they do what they do. What matters is that they deeply harmed us, and we must get away from them—forever.
Most people won’t understand the pain unless they’ve lived through it themselves.
To overcome the fear of getting attached to a narcissist again, you must learn to trust yourself. Accept that you can’t always avoid bad partners. Sometimes, you give it your best shot, and if it doesn’t work out, you leave—and never look back.
Listen to your instincts. If your gut is screaming at you, pay attention. Use the process of elimination to figure out what—or who—doesn’t belong in your life.
Educate yourself as much as possible about narcissism.
People with mental illnesses know the difference between right and wrong. If they aren’t willing to do everything in their power to seek treatment, run. If that person has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), just run.
These people have enough self-control not to harm most of the people they meet. They chose to hurt me/us—never forget that.
They know exactly what they’re doing. They may not understand why, but that’s their problem, not ours.
Your time and attention should be directed toward yourself first. Stop trying to save others. No one asked you to do that—you took on that burden yourself.
Don’t waste time trying to understand the “flying monkeys.” They can be just as toxic as the narcissist.
Never expect understanding from their friends or family. Most of them have no idea what narcissism or NPD even is. And usually? They don’t care. They have their own lives to live.
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