The Ultimate Betrayal You Never Saw Coming
At its core, this is the greatest act of betrayal you can experience—the one you never imagined would happen, the one you never believed someone you loved could inflict on you.
All the promises you made to each other—to stand together no matter what—and then boom. Without warning, they leave. Suddenly and unannounced. They move on in their own mind, make decisions without you, and continue running away from the very problems they helped create in the relationship (as they always do). That’s why it hurts so deeply.
As a non-narcissist, as an empathetic person, you could never imagine simply abandoning someone you love—unless things became so dangerous or catastrophic that a life was at risk. Simply put: when you love someone, you don’t give up on them.
Narcissists don’t have this gene.
When things get difficult—especially once you fully understand them—they discard you and leave you to the wolves. This is part of their defense mechanism. Once they realize you see them clearly, they know you could expose who they really are to others. So they flee. Fast.
Every second feels like a lifetime. Eventually, it feels as though betrayal has defined your entire existence. The person who once planned a future with you, built countless memories with you, and claimed to love you with their whole heart suddenly treats you as if you are nothing. As if you never mattered. As if you were dead—or worse, as if they wish you were.
It is exhausting.
But what’s equally exhausting is realizing you were never dealing with a normal human being. That person was not normal. If empathy is what defines us as human, then they barely qualify as one. A liar. A cheater. A manipulator of epic proportions. No morals. No conscience. No remorse for the damage they cause or the lies they tell.
Just a deeply disturbed, dishonest, and emotionally hollow individual.
And foolishly enough, many of us believed they could be saved. That with enough love, patience, and understanding, they could heal.
They can’t.
A narcissistic monster will cheat the moment the relationship faces difficulty, play the victim to perfection, and completely rewrite the narrative—turning you, the loyal, loving, hardworking, and caring partner, into the villain. It’s frightening how psychotic and detached from reality these individuals can be.
And honestly… it’s just sad.
If you were to look into their past relationships, you’d discover that all those stories about “crazy exes” and failed relationships were lies—designed to hide the truth: they were the problem. These traits rarely, if ever, change.
Discovering that you were betrayed by someone you genuinely believed you had a future with is devastating. Accepting how naïvely you trusted the illusion is even harder. Eventually, you’re forced to face the truth: you were used, lied to, betrayed, manipulated, abused, and—plainly—not loved.
They leave without a word. You’re left to make sense of the wreckage and somehow continue living.
They take pleasure in knowing you miss them.
You’ll probably call. You’ll send messages, desperate to understand what happened, where they went, why they disappeared. They won’t respond—but they will read every word. And the person reading them will feel satisfaction knowing you’re hurt, confused, and longing to hear from them.
But don’t be fooled.
Discard is rarely permanent. When your so-called “love” returns, persuades you to come back, pulls you into bed again—they will play the same game all over.
Isn’t that wonderful?
If they discarded you once, they will do it again—as long as you’re willing to keep accepting them back. They never truly let go. They keep their “supply.”
That’s why No Contact (NC) is essential. It is the only way you can deliver the final discard.
The reason this hurts so much is simple: you are not the narcissist. You believed the façade. You trusted the lies.
And when reality finally hits—it hurts like hell.
“Never go back to what broke you.”
#NarcissisticAbuse
#TheyNeverChange
#tiidijanecu
A narcissist is not capable of nurturing genuine feelings for a person as a whole. To truly care about someone, you have to accept that every part of that person forms a complete human being. Most people naturally take in someone’s actions, talents, flaws, and traits as a collective “soul” that makes them a unique individual. We tend to struggle with separating and isolating the characteristics of someone we care about because we’re drawn to the whole person and value them for everything they are.
A narcissist, however, cannot perceive an individual as a whole. Their mind automatically breaks you into segments. They see each piece of your worth and personality as separate parts, and each one is judged based on the value it could bring to the narcissist if they “owned” it. Their inability to see people holistically makes genuine emotional attachment impossible, because they never truly see the people around them. A human being is a deeply nuanced collection of traits and experiences that are constantly shifting and developing, merging into one singular identity. The best analogy for the difference in perception between a narcissist and an average person is comparing it to your favorite novel: narcissists see only the words, while the rest of us see the entire story.
Because their minds are wired this way, a narcissist cannot form sincere feelings for anyone. Their emotions are intensely focused on certain parts of you, and those parts are treated as objects. Every piece of you is assigned a value based on what it can offer them. By dissecting the essence of a person and assigning worth to each part like separate objects, the narcissist naturally devalues the person as a whole.
Narcissists also have other traits that make it confusing to understand what they feel for you. They tend to be extremely self-centered, placing themselves at the center of their own universe and constantly seeking to improve that universe in any way possible. They are obsessed with controlling everything that touches their world and are masters of manipulation and deceit. They carry an unhealthy sense of entitlement and a dangerous compulsion to have more and to be superior to anyone who enters their domain. Their view of reality is narrow, leaving no room for anything that doesn’t fit their own perspective. What is most alarming is their complete lack of empathy or remorse for the people they hurt in their pursuit of dominance.
This lack of emotion, their tendency toward dishonesty, and their need to control and possess everything within their reach create a dangerous person. A narcissist is capable of observing and mimicking emotions and traits they do not actually feel, and they can quickly transform into whatever you need in order to pull you into their illusion. This act may look convincing for a while, but it’s not sustainable. Anyone who has ever had an intimate relationship with a narcissist tells the same story: it begins beautifully, too good to be true, and then slowly shifts as the narcissist starts shaping and controlling you. Everything accelerates once they begin to dominate and hurt you. Eventually, you find yourself trapped in a cycle of soul-crushing abuse. The real monster behind the mask emerges, but by then you are stuck — broken, frightened, and too confused to know how to escape.
The narcissist makes it clear that they “own” you now, and that you’ll be crushed if you don’t fall in line. They are not bluffing. You start to believe you are worthless, that you need to fix yourself, or even help the narcissist “heal” so you can bring back the version of them you once cared about. But the truth is, that person never existed. It was a mirage — a performance crafted by a predator to target you. It felt too good to be true because it never was.
Be certain of this: they do not feel anything for you. They may have strong feelings about certain parts of you, but those feelings are rooted in their own selfish desires, not in who you are as a person.
#narcissisticabuse
#tiidijanecu
They Forgot About You
They forgot about you while you were busy trying to win their approval — pleasing them, crying over them, swallowing your pride just to stay close.
When the love bombing ends, devaluation begins. That’s when the narcissist decides you’ve made a “mistake” and starts searching for someone “better.”
At that very moment — they forget you.
Sure, you’re still around, but believe me — narcissists live their lives as if you don’t exist. They’ve already given up on you. They know they don’t want to be with you anymore, and from now on, you simply don’t matter. You never really did.
They didn’t lie about who they are — you lied to yourself about who they were.
Now it’s your turn to forget them.
Break free from the addiction to their “love bomb,” and start building a new life — reconnect with your friends, rediscover yourself, and write a new story.
Narcissists only desire people who don’t care about them, because in their twisted minds, that signals higher status — something to conquer.
And they devalue the ones who truly love them, because if you love them too much, you must be “beneath” them.
If you want to have any kind of relationship with a narcissist, understand this: it’s all a game to them.
Their promises — no matter how sincere they sound — mean absolutely nothing.
They’re the type to marry you and promise eternal love… and cheat the next day if someone “better” comes along.
Narcissists don’t change.
They can’t.
They only spiral downward — each new interaction reveals that they’re worse than you thought.
So if you must deal with them, play their game smartly — but never, ever get emotionally attached. They take pleasure in breaking hearts in ways you can’t even imagine.
If you can benefit from them, do so carefully. Otherwise, keep your distance.
To them, you’re just a resource, and once they’ve taken what they need, you’ll be discarded and devalued.
Remember — these are deeply disturbed individuals, soulless people.
Never let your emotions convince you otherwise.
Narcissists are masters of deception — pathological liars.
When they tell you they’re “going to bed early,” their new partner is already getting ready in the bathroom for a hot night together.
When they say they miss you — they lie.
When they call you their “one and only” — they lie again.
They don’t think about you. They don’t miss you.
Think about that coin you lost last year — that’s how much you mean to them.
They live in a delusional fantasy world where they believe they’re the center of everything. They think of you the same way they’d think of a lost object — not as a person.
They never loved you. They only loved love-bombing you — which is something entirely different.
And while they might try to win you back or start a smear campaign against you, don’t fall for it.
If they don’t try to come back, it’s only because they’ve already found someone else.
Don’t waste your time — they’re a lost cause.
Set yourself free.
You deserve peace.
#narcissisticabuse
#healing
#selfworth
#youarenottheproblem
#tiidijanecu
You will get through this — because you have no other choice.
After going through all the stages of a relationship with a narcissist — the love bombing, the fake promises, the devaluation, and finally the endless cycles of rejection — you eventually reach a point where you just can’t take it anymore.
It doesn’t matter how much you love them.
It doesn’t matter how hard you try to save the relationship.
Nothing you do will ever make a difference.
Because they don’t feel empathy the way you do.
It’s not that narcissists are emotionless robots — they know exactly how they’ve manipulated you, how they’ve played with your emotions, and how they’ve used you.
They do feel shame and guilt — but they can’t handle it.
That’s why they have to move on so quickly. They can’t bear to take responsibility for what they’ve done to others.
Narcissists don’t cheat just for the thrill of deception — they cheat because, as the relationship deepens, their fear of true intimacy grows. They can’t fully commit to anyone.
So they leave before it becomes too real.
When it’s over, you look back at all the time, energy, and love you invested in them — and how utterly wasted it all feels.
That’s one of the hardest parts to accept.
You realize they lied about loving you. That they never truly cared, no matter how loyal you were.
It took me almost a year to heal from the trauma bond. And honestly — now, I feel nothing but indifference.
You stop caring. You no longer want to waste even a second thinking about them.
It’s like watching a courtroom scene where a convicted criminal shows no remorse for what they’ve done — and a grieving relative stands up and says:
"I don’t care that you don’t care. You’re going to sit there and listen while I tell you about the beautiful soul you destroyed — and what a piece of garbage you are."
That’s what it feels like after breaking free from a narcissist.
You no longer care about them — but you still speak your truth, you expose their abuse, and it doesn’t matter whether they listen or feel anything.
They don’t get a say anymore.
The longer you were with a narcissist, the longer it takes to recover.
Your mind becomes foggy — you can’t think clearly. They’ve made you believe every problem was your fault. You remember the “good times.” You convince yourself they loved you. You excuse their cruelty:
“If I hadn’t done that, they wouldn’t have reacted that way.”
You think you miss them — their laugh, their smile, their charm.
But what you really miss is the person who never existed.
Deep down, you know the relationship was toxic — that it was never healthy. Everyone who’s been with a narcissist knows they should leave… but they don’t, not until they’re truly ready. You tolerate the disrespect, the emotional chaos — until one day, something inside you finally snaps.
That’s the final straw.
You’re done.
Leaving is hard. The urge to go back is real.
But you must stay strong.
Your thoughts will spin 24/7. It’ll feel impossible to forget.
But once you go No Contact, and time begins to pass, it gets easier.
You’ll start to feel like yourself again — peaceful, grounded, free.
Your mental health will improve. You’ll see the truth clearly for what it was. You’ll accept that nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome.
You simply gave your best — to the wrong person.
The relationship was never real on their side. They didn’t love you, they didn’t care — and they never will. They can’t.
That’s who they are. They won’t change.
You deserve better. You were too good for the narcissist.
Don’t waste your life on the wrong people.
So what helps?
Stay strong.
Give it time.
#narcissisticabuse
#healingjourney
#youcandoit
#tiidijanecu
Most relationships with narcissists tend to follow a predictable pattern known as “Discard” or “Hoovering.” In the discard phase, the narcissist abruptly ends the relationship without warning, leaving their partner feeling confused, hurt, and rejected. Later, during hoovering, they often reappear, attempting to win the victim back in order to regain control.
At the beginning of a relationship, narcissists usually idealize their partners, putting them on a pedestal. But over time, they start to devalue and eventually discard them. This shift can happen suddenly, with no clear reason, depending entirely on the narcissist’s needs and goals.
After discarding someone, a narcissist may try to re-enter their life, promising change or using manipulation to lure them back. This cycle makes it incredibly difficult for the victim to move on, especially because narcissists can be extremely charming and skilled at emotional manipulation. Their tactics may include gaslighting, emotional abuse, or even physical abuse.
In short, relationships with narcissists are usually chaotic and end abruptly, leaving victims with deep feelings of confusion, hurt, and abandonment. And if the victim tries to leave first, the narcissist often attempts to pull them back with promises, guilt, or manipulation.
At the end of every relationship, narcissists will blame you for everything—no matter what they’ve done. They may have verbally or physically abused you, damaged your property, stolen from you, or destroyed your reputation. But in their mind, you are always the problem. This is because narcissists are deeply rooted in shame, and blaming others is the only way they can avoid facing that shame.
This is their survival mechanism. Criticism—no matter how constructive—feels like an attack to them. It triggers shame, which quickly turns into rage. Their reaction is to lash out and try to destroy you. That’s why you can’t reason with a narcissist or hope they’ll take accountability.
Narcissists cannot tolerate feedback, but they demand authority and control over others. Power makes them feel important and in control—yet the irony is, the only reason they crave control so desperately is because they don’t have it in their own lives. They refuse to take responsibility for their choices, so instead they dominate others, becoming the judge, jury, and executioner.
The real issue is that narcissists lack genuine self-respect and self-love. Because of this, they cannot show love or respect to you. That’s why the relationship plays out the way it does. Their immaturity and insecurity mean that, in the end, they will always shift the blame onto you. They’ll hold you accountable for their mistakes, smear your reputation, and convince others to believe their story. It’s easy for them to do this because the abuse usually happens behind closed doors, where no one else can see it.
To the outside world, they’ve already manipulated everyone into believing they are the “good guy”—the Samaritan, the victim, the one who gave everything. In reality, this is simply their way of securing a steady supply of attention, validation, and resources.
#narcissisticabuse
#youarenottoblame
#tiidijanecu
I know, it might sound like we’re just throwing around clichés or empty motivational talk. But if you really want revenge in the truest sense of the word, focus on your own healing instead of your ex.
Become the highest version of yourself. Become successful. Become healthy. Heal, live well, move forward, reach your goals, and build a life so good that you never need to look back.
It’s normal to feel hatred toward someone who stole your dreams, your future, your happiness, and left you emotionally shattered. So yes—imagine your revenge as much as you need to. Let the anger out. Scream, cry, do whatever helps. And then, when you’re ready, stop. Begin your healing journey. That’s really the only path forward—and it will make you happier than you ever thought possible.
The hidden “gift” of being with someone like that is that it pushes you to rise higher. You got out, and now you can see clearly that you’re capable of being different—of being better.
Nothing in life lasts forever. Every experience, every relationship eventually runs its course. Treat each day as its own lifetime. Value the people in front of you as if it were their last day on earth. Find joy in the small things in the moment, instead of dwelling on what you’ve lost.
One day, you’ll look back—and you’ll laugh.
#narcissisticabuse
#yourdaywillcome
#tiidijanecu
The whole point of narcissistic abuse is to drive you crazy. And now you may actually feel like you’re losing your mind, coming up with ways to get revenge on the narcissist — because nothing seems to compare to what they did to you. You have a strong desire to make them suffer just as you have. Most of us here have seriously considered some kind of revenge at one point.
I know this probably isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but it’s the only truth you need. Until you accept this truth, you won’t stop wanting to “win,” to get the upper hand, or to hurt the narcissist back. You won’t stop wishing them harm. Because deep down, that’s not who you really are — you’re not someone obsessed with “beating” another person at their own game. You may even wonder how you got to this point, wanting revenge at all. You know you’re better than this. And what you truly want is simple — justice, fairness, peace of mind. You just want to get your old self back and erase this entire chapter of your life. You want to live again. Still, you may believe you’ll feel better if you hurt the narcissist somehow.
But all the things you can imagine doing to a narcissist — whether it’s harassment, stalking, hacking, sending long essays or angry emails about how they hurt you, yelling in their face, trying to manipulate them, telling them they’re a narcissist, “exposing” them, mocking them, blocking-unblocking-blocking-unblocking, even throwing eggs at their house — none of it works. Because every single one of those actions keeps you focused on them. And (I’m not exaggerating), your focus on them is their number one source of life. Their very existence depends on keeping you trapped and obsessed, whether it’s in love or in hate. They want you to waste your time on them, because your effort is still a form of attention — and that’s the one thing you must stop giving.
You have to accept that you’re now living with a new awareness after learning about narcissism. You’re probably asking, “Why me? Why did I have to go through this? I didn’t deserve this abuse.” And you’re right — you didn’t. Nothing could have prepared you for it. No one in this world can apologize enough to undo it. But now that you have this awareness, you’ll be a hundred times more careful about who you let into your life. If you mentally survived this, you can survive anything. You made it through, and you have nothing left to fear. You now know exactly what kind of life you want to live.
You cannot change a narcissist — and honestly, you shouldn’t even try. Your purpose in life is not to take care of a sad, insecure child trapped in an adult’s body. Your life’s purpose is far greater than that. Go on and live your best life — and beneath all those layers, that will become your ultimate victory. Yes, the narcissist will feel it when you move on, and that will be the only thing that actually works. And because this “revenge” doesn’t require any effort or planning on your part — you’ll just be living your most beautiful life unapologetically — it’ll drive them mad without you even trying. And here’s the best part: once you reach that point of living fully, you won’t even care whether they’re mad or not. You’ll realize your life is worth far more than focusing on this hollow, pitiful wax figure we call a narcissist.
What do people with NPD have in common? One of their primary goals is to gain power and control over their victims. While an ordinary person might feel jealousy toward a romantic partner out of love, narcissists, sociopaths, and emotional psychopaths become possessive out of fear of losing control. You must understand that you’re dealing with people who crave control. They demand that everything go their way and refuse any alternative. That’s why it’s important to show them they cannot dominate you. You’re in charge of your life and make your own decisions. One approach is to undermine their authority in small, seemingly trivial ways by refusing to obey.
A narcissist craves validation and admiration, and the lack of it drives them insane. Whether they’re a parent, partner, or friend, they all share this trait. They survive on being the center of attention, as much as a normal person needs air. So what happens when someone else becomes your focus? The narcissist completely unravels.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all do whatever we wanted without consequences or criticism? Unfortunately, that’s exactly what narcissists expect from their victims. They lack empathy. If you break up with a narcissist, they won’t feel remorse for breaking your heart. In fact, they’ll be shocked if you confront them. But simply talking won’t help, because they’ll dismiss it as nagging. What will shock them is when you refuse to give them another chance and make it clear your behavior is a direct response to theirs. Narcissists believe they’re superior to everyone else, so when you tell them directly that you see through them and won’t tolerate it, they’re left stunned.
Lack of empathy goes beyond an inability to feel someone else’s pain. Narcissists can’t feel happy for other people — and in fact, they feel threatened by others’ happiness. They may even try to sabotage it. Seeing a stranger enjoying life is irritating to them, but what truly enrages them is when their victim experiences joy that has nothing to do with them. Narcissists are fundamentally jealous people who cannot feel genuine happiness, and they resent anyone who can. If you want to unsettle a narcissist, all you have to do is show real happiness. It crushes them to know they didn’t succeed in breaking your spirit.
It’s also important to note that narcissists expect emotional dependence from their partners, friends, and family members. They do not recognize or value true love and healthy care — they see dependence as the only proof of love. So what happens when a victim of narcissistic abuse becomes emotionally independent? This doesn’t necessarily mean you stop loving them, but that you’ve achieved emotional freedom. That’s intolerable to them. Your world no longer revolves around them, which shatters their sense of worth. And it’s not just emotional independence — financial and social independence matter too. When a narcissist realizes you can make decisions without them, they panic. They believe you no longer need them, which threatens their control entirely.
People with narcissistic personality disorder often struggle with deeply rooted self-esteem issues, even if they hide it well. They constantly compare themselves to others — family, friends, romantic partners, coworkers, even strangers. Their perception of reality is distorted because they feel compelled to prove their superiority. But inside, they feel worthless, and their only drive is to win at the imaginary competition they’ve created in their heads. Their biggest fear is that someone might be better than them. A simple compliment to a coworker or admiration for a friend’s new car can send them into days of obsessive thought.
#narcissisticabuse
#thisisnotaboutyou
#tiidijanecu
No, narcissists never truly forget anyone—they simply replace you when they get bored.
Forgetting someone and not wanting someone back are two completely different things.
Why do they seem to move on so quickly?
Because they were never really there to begin with. The person they pretended to be was just a mask. What you’re seeing now—that’s their real self.
To remember someone deeply, you need empathy, love, care, appreciation, and genuine respect from the heart. Narcissists lack these traits. They view people as objects or toys. Just like a child remembers a toy but doesn’t actually care about it, they see you as their possession. They’ll revisit you when it suits them—even years later.
If you’re wise, you’ll cut off all contact. If not, you’ll face consequences when they resurface.
Think of it like a former drug addict: even after recovery, seeing an old friend using heroin can trigger cravings. Memories of excitement can spark desire.
Dealing with toxic people like narcissists requires complete removal from your life. Any contact only leads to ruin.
Narcissists don’t love themselves, so they can never truly love others. They’re full of self-loathing, insecurity, inner conflict, and an insatiable emptiness no one can fill.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is complex and affects individuals differently. People with narcissistic traits often struggle to form deep, lasting emotional bonds. They lack empathy and have limited ability to understand or consider the feelings of others.
As a result, narcissists tend to leave relationships quickly and “forget” their exes—not because they truly forget, but because they discard people like broken tools. Still, not all narcissists move on without a trace: some stalk, harass, or obsess over their ex-partners. Others may hold onto anger or sadness long after a breakup.
What’s certain: they’ll remember you, but never in the way you hope—not as “the love of their life.” Most of the time they won’t think of you at all because they’re too busy weaving new webs to catch unsuspecting prey. Narcissists lack object permanence, meaning they can’t stay emotionally connected to someone who isn’t right in front of them. Out of sight usually means out of mind.
Yet even while they’re with someone new, their thoughts may occasionally drift back to you—and that lingering memory is where your power lies.
They don’t forget exes. Ever. They discard them and make them feel forgotten—but you remain in their mental “back pocket,” ready to be used when they need sex, revenge, or a punching bag. They reject you not because you’re worthless, but because they enjoy seeing you suffer. It feeds their sick sense of power.
Once they crush your heart, you must occupy your mind with anything that keeps you moving forward.
Don’t expect closure. Don’t expect answers. And if you ever go back, don’t expect them to change—it only gets worse. They lack empathy even for their own children.
No matter how difficult, apply Grey Rock: go no-contact, block and delete them from your life. If you share children, you must co-parent, but keep interactions strictly practical to avoid chaos. Every fight only hurts the kids.
To recover from something toxic, you must remove it completely. Continued contact will sabotage your healing. The more you engage, the harder it becomes to break free. Discipline is the key—mental preparation to control your own thoughts is harder than any physical task.
Narcissists hate themselves, and that’s why they’ll never be capable of loving anyone else.
#narcissisticabuse
#youareworthmore
#tiidijanecu
Even when a narcissist discards you, they often keep a line of communication open—just so they can reach out whenever they need another dose of supply.
No contact sends a clear message: you’re no longer important to them, your emotions aren’t tied to their whims, and you have no interest in continuing this relationship in the future.
I know it’s hard—but it’s the only way. They might regret it… not now, but maybe six months or a year from now, right when you finally feel like you can breathe without thinking about them.
They will call.
And suddenly, the air will be sucked out of you, your hands will shake, and you’ll have to remind yourself—it’s over. You’ll have to put your phone down, because if you hold it for one second too long, you might answer. And answering will only bring more sleepless nights and more unanswered questions.
So don’t answer.
Close your eyes and pretend it never happened. Count to ten and make yourself a coffee—not because it’s your favorite drink, but because its smell will calm you. Do not reply to their call or message.
They do this to make sure they still have control over you. Don’t give them that satisfaction. They weren’t worth it then, and they’re not worth it now.
That will be the day they realize what they had, REGRET what they lost, and understand what they will never get back.
Above all, it’s about protecting your time and energy. All you have to do is tell yourself you want to move forward—and that you no longer want to share a single moment of your life with them. But if you still wonder how to respond, apply reverse psychology: say or do the exact opposite of what the narcissist expects from you in that moment.
Narcissists are highly reactive to the opinions, desires, needs, and demands of their partners. They are sensitive to how others perceive them, yet they tend to oppose anything you suggest, often becoming argumentative and insecure. They rarely know what they truly want, but in a passive-aggressive way, they will resist what you believe is right.
They are extremely sensitive to criticism. If you try to explain how much they’ve hurt you, they may grow colder, deny their actions, and even blame you for the very things they do themselves. The longer this continues, the more tightly they cling to their distorted version of the truth. They may even see you as worse than them and resent you for making them feel bad. They don’t care about your feelings and have no interest in why you’re upset. They won’t apologize, nor will they react in a healthy way. They lack the emotional maturity and selflessness to make things right.
Trying to make them feel sorry for you or let their guard down is rarely effective—and often not worth the effort. Narcissists rarely recognize their mistakes or take responsibility for their actions. Arguing with them or trying to prove your point is usually pointless.
So, don’t waste your time seeking compassion from a narcissist. They aren’t emotionally developed enough to understand or care about your feelings.
The best choice is to walk away and refuse to play their games.
#narcissisticabuse
#youdecide
#tiidijanecu
Silence and no contact are your most powerful tools against a narcissist. One day, through your silence and by blocking them out, you will win. It doesn’t matter whether you left the narcissist or they left you. It doesn’t matter how dramatic the breakup was. What matters is that you now know who you're dealing with—and that with someone like this, no one ever truly wins.
With a narcissist, you can only lose—because the narcissist always plays to win. But your greatest victory after a breakup isn’t revenge or closure. It’s this: silence. You were never a partner to the narcissist—you were a source of supply. You believed you were in a real relationship, so you gave your all. But they used it. They used you.
A narcissist lives for your reaction—positive or negative. It doesn’t matter. Every time you respond, they feel powerful, alive, in control. And that control is what they crave most. Power equals victory in their world. That’s why they always seem to come out on top—until you stop reacting.
Your reactions are their oxygen. When you cut off your emotional responses, they lose their grip. A narcissist only has power as long as you're unaware of what they are. Once you understand who they really are, you can start playing by different rules—their own tactics turned against them.
And the golden rule is: no reaction.
Silence is the ultimate boundary. If they can’t provoke you, they can’t feed off you. If you must communicate, keep it minimal—dry, brief, emotionless. Don’t share your thoughts, dreams, fears, or plans. You owe them nothing. They never wanted the best for you—only what served them. You were a tool to boost their fragile ego.
You’ve spent enough of your energy on the narcissist. Now it’s time to reinvest that energy in yourself.
Every relationship with a narcissist is doomed to fail sooner or later. Your silence strips them of the attention they crave and severely limits their control. They'll feel that shift immediately—and they won’t like it. They’ll push harder, trying to provoke you.
Don’t let them.
No reaction is the clearest message: You’re done. You won’t tolerate the manipulation anymore. You’re reclaiming your peace.
#NarcissisticAbuse
#SilenceIsPower
#tiidijanecu
If someone can give you love so easily—and take it away just as fast—they never truly loved you.
Honestly, they never loved you from the start if they could look you in the eyes and lie. They say things like, “Oh, I love you, there’s no one else, I want to spend my life with you,” but their actions never match their words.
With a narcissist, it’s all a game. They don’t love you.
Love doesn’t lie to you. Love doesn’t hit you. Love doesn’t cheat. Love doesn’t drain you or make you feel small. But this kind of “love” does all of that—over and over again.
If a narcissist—or anyone—can shower you with praise, flood you with affection, call you amazing, and then suddenly block you for breathing the wrong way or accuse you of having a “bad attitude,” it’s not spontaneous. It’s premeditated.
How can someone say, “I love you, I want forever with you,” and in the next breath tell others they can’t stand to be around you?
If I’m so annoying, why do you keep calling me back? Why don’t you just leave me alone?
Because to a narcissist, it’s all part of the sick game.
Do they regret it?
No.
You could’ve just shared something intimate, made plans, or had a beautiful night together—then bam, a goodbye message like nothing ever mattered. Even after years by your side.
Are they waiting for you to reach out? Maybe. But only so they can keep you hooked, under control.
In most cases, if they discard you first, they already have new "supplies" lined up. Cheating is often part of the picture. They may have been with someone else when they met you.
They always keep their bed—and their options—open. Constantly.
They don’t truly attach to people, so breakups don’t affect them much. They might say things to make you think they care, but if you set boundaries and stick to them—wow. They’ll disappear faster than a Ferrari.
If it suits them, they might even try to come back—even while they’re in another “relationship” (if you can even call it that).
To them, every interaction is a chance to gain power, control, sex, status, or money.
After the discard, they don’t care about you.
Truth is, they probably never did. Everything seemed fine—until you found out about the cheating, the lies, the secrets.
That’s when the mask slips. That’s when they make you feel like you’re the crazy one. It’s all part of the manipulation.
Even if they’ve already moved on to a new victim, they still remember you. They often flaunt their new relationship just to upset you—hoping you’re watching.
After the discard, a narcissist hates you.
If you left them, they hate you for leaving.
If they left you, they hate you for no longer being useful.
If they discarded you, it’s because you became too difficult to control—you set boundaries, you saw through them—and now they’re angry.
So they punish you for that.
#narcissisticabuse
#youandimeveragain
#tiidijanecu
Relationships with Narcissists: A Painful Truth
Relationships with narcissists often begin like a whirlwind romance. You’re swept off your feet with a level of intimacy and connection you’ve never felt before. It feels like you’ve found your soulmate. They seem to adore the very ground you walk on.
But just as quickly as it starts, they vanish—often without explanation.
What may seem intoxicating at first quickly turns into confusion and emotional chaos. Over time, their charming mask starts to slip, revealing a controlling, manipulative, and deeply self-centered individual.
When they feel like they’re losing your attention, narcissists will try to pull you back in. They’ll use flattery, affection, guilt, threats, even punishment. Promises, apologies, love-bombing—they’re all tools of manipulation. It’s not love—it’s control.
If those tactics fail and you become “too difficult” or stop feeding their ego, they’ll grow bored and leave, always in search of a new source of attention.
They view your boundaries not as healthy self-respect, but as a personal attack. If you dare to assert your independence or fight for your wellbeing, they will retaliate. But you must remain firm. Stand your ground. Never abandon yourself. Because when a narcissist realizes they can’t control you, they walk away.
They don’t truly care for others. To them, people are tools—useful only as long as they serve a purpose. If you’re going through a hard time, they won’t offer help. In fact, they might even enjoy the drama. If the situation doesn’t directly affect them, they’ll shift the spotlight back to themselves. They’ll lash out, play the victim, and make it all about them.
Narcissists are irritated by weakness in others—it reminds them of their own. Illness, vulnerability, hardship? They find it disgusting. And if you’re going through something difficult, they’ll often use it as an excuse to abandon you when you need them most.
A narcissist wants to be the center of your universe. Some of their partners end up sacrificing everything—their identity, health, and dreams—just to keep the narcissist satisfied. But the moment you become consistent, self-aware, or emotionally independent, they feel threatened. And they’ll leave.
And before they do, they’ll likely try every last trick in the book to manipulate you again. You must stay grounded in your own life, your own identity. Know your worth, hold on to your truth, and don’t let them drag you back in.
Cheating is another form of control for narcissists. They often begin looking for a replacement while they’re still with you. If they find someone younger, wealthier, more attractive—someone who makes them feel more powerful—they’ll jump ship. And when that shiny new person rejects them, they might come crawling back.
By then, hopefully, you’ll have moved on.
Narcissists rarely give closure. Why? Because it's a power play. Keeping you confused, waiting, and hoping is part of their game. They don’t change. They just replace.
What you thought was a relationship... was actually a performance. You were a pawn in a game of ego and control. They never gave you the chance to speak your truth or express your love because they were never truly listening.
Their goal? To cause maximum damage before they disappear. To leave you broken and questioning your own worth.
Make no mistake—they know exactly what they’re doing. They’ll twist your words, shift blame, dodge responsibility, and make you feel like trash—all so they can walk away feeling powerful and superior.
And if they ever come back, it will be on their terms. If you beg or chase after them, it only feeds their ego. Worse yet, they might use your desperation to label you as “crazy” or “obsessed”—just to discredit you.
Don’t give them that power.
Narcissists are some of the most toxic and emotionally destructive people you can encounter. If someone is treating you this way, recognize it for what it is: abuse. Get out. Go no contact. Save yourself. They will not change.
They are always searching for that mythical “perfect partner.” But their idea of perfection is a fantasy—one where the partner has no flaws, no needs, no life outside of them. When you fail to live up to that impossible standard, they blame you for being human.
To a narcissist, the ideal partner is flawless in love, beauty, support, sacrifice—and, above all, always puts them first. They expect praise, devotion, and constant admiration. The moment you stop feeding that fantasy, they turn cold.
They are snakes in human skin. You never really know if their smile is genuine, or if they’re about to strike.
You can’t change them—it’s their nature. But you can walk away. You can learn, heal, and protect yourself.
Don’t forgive and forget just to get bitten again.
Don't wait for closure. Don’t wait for them to understand your pain. They know what they did—and they do not care.
Yes, you were hurt. Yes, you deserved better. Yes, your pain is real.
But real healing starts when you shut the door.
You are your own closure.
#narcissisticabuse
#youareenough
#tiidijanecu
We connected very quickly.
She was open to everything (especially sex).
She kept telling me how she couldn’t live without me.
She was the first to say she loved me.
Our meetings almost always ended in sex; we rarely talked about important things.
When we did talk, she rarely looked me in the eyes.
She never spoke about our future together.
She often criticized other people and portrayed herself as the only one who was “right.”
She showed empathy towards others.
She kept saying she knew I would always be there for her.
She usually wasn’t there for me when I was struggling, and I never felt that she truly cared to support me.
She would stop me from speaking badly about people who hurt me.
She stayed close to people who wished me harm and worked to keep us apart.
She constantly set conditions for our relationship.
She never showed a desire for me to stay at the same company with her.
Our meetings became shorter and less frequent over time.
Our intimate moments became rare.
At first, her messages were full of love; in the end, they were cold and without even an emoji.
She started finding excuses not to see me.
At work, she stayed after me, and it seemed she enjoyed the attention she got from colleagues praising her dedication.
She never had a clear reason for staying at work late — each time, she gave a different explanation.
It felt like she didn’t know what she truly wanted.
She never gave me any gifts — nothing to keep as a memory.
Towards the end, she showered me with love messages and said beautiful things she had never said before.
She hid something very dark from her past that she refused to share with me (she admitted there was something but said she would keep it to herself).
She told me some family secrets, things she said she didn’t even discuss with her mother.
She kept saying how much she cared about children, yet she treated them poorly (constantly yelling at them).
She always insisted that her views on life were the only correct ones.
She was bothered by her sisters’ behavior, claiming they were working against her.
Money and social status were extremely important to her.
She claimed she didn’t consider herself special.
She was extremely stubborn.
She was constantly in contact with her ex-husband — supposedly because of the kids.
She used to show me his messages to “prove” what he was saying. I never saw a message where he explicitly declared love to her.
She often compared me to him, highlighting how he did many things “right.”
At first, she spoke terribly about her ex, describing his past and present behavior in detail.
She stopped seeing him at some point, but lately, she started seeing him more and more often.
Our last conversation was about him. She said he had changed, and we would all see whether talking to him would lead to results.
She tried to break up with me several times, saying our relationship made no sense.
After each breakup attempt, she would overwhelm me with love and act as if nothing had happened.
In the end, she went back to him and blamed me for everything.
#narcissisticabuse
#thisiswhyiwontgoagain
#tiidijanecu
A narcissist will discard you in the coldest, most heartless way imaginable. You’ll be left confused, disoriented, and utterly lost, wondering how someone who claimed to love every part of you can suddenly find you completely repulsive. You can’t understand how you went from spending so much time together, constantly talking, to suddenly being blocked, avoided, and humiliated. You can’t grasp how they can be so cruel to you when all you ever did was give them your everything. You go from being the center of their world to someone they want absolutely nothing to do with.
You’ll be devalued the moment they get bored of you—something that happens to everyone caught in their toxic web. Once they’ve drained all the good from you, they see no reason to keep you around. You were once their favorite, their number one choice, but without a second thought, they’ll replace you with someone new who’s already lined up and ready to take your place. This new person now gets all their attention, all their free time, all their love-bombing. They shower them with the same sweet words they once told you. While they make you feel insignificant and push you out of their lives, they tell this new person how "special" they are. They believe they’ve found someone “better” than what you ever offered.
Narcissists crave variety and have no desire to settle down or meet the needs of just one person forever. The idea is absurd to them. They love the idea of loyalty from others but will never reciprocate it. They want the freedom to sleep with whoever they want without question and expect you to accept it—otherwise, you’ll be discarded immediately. They want to flirt with neighbors, strangers, your friends, your family, coworkers, or random people they meet online or at a bar—and they expect you to look the other way. If you don’t, they’ll call you crazy, jealous, insecure, and controlling.
They want to use social media as a tool to connect with endless new people, caring little about how it makes you feel. They want to blow all their money on alcohol, drugs, partying, sex work, gambling—anything but taking responsibility. They’ll happily spend your hard-earned money too. They expect you to bend over backward for them, sacrificing your dignity, self-respect, and identity—and no matter how much you give, it will never be enough.
At first, they loved hearing your voice. Now, they’re bored by everything you say or do. They’ll claim you’re “suffocating” them. They do these things deliberately and then blame you for it. Eventually, you’ll reach a breaking point where you confront them because you’re tired of walking on eggshells just to keep them happy.
They will discard you as soon as you call them out on their unstable, destructive, impulsive, irresponsible, and reckless behavior. In their minds, they think: “How dare you hold me accountable for deliberately hurting you! You fool, get lost.” They don’t want to hear about the pain, the hurt, or the abuse they’ve caused. They don’t want to listen when you express how devastated you are to catch them lying, cheating, or flirting with others. They don’t care that they ignored your messages or avoided you. They want to live freely, do whatever they want, and never face consequences.
They also discard you to establish control. They do it just to see how far they can push you. One moment, you might be having the best time together, and the next morning you wake up to find you’re blocked, they’ve changed their number, moved out, quit their job, and disappeared off the face of the earth. This leaves you in a state of panic, feeling abandoned and shattered because you had become so attached. You spend all your time spiraling, barely able to function, while they seemingly move on effortlessly, already sliding into the life of their next victim without a second thought.
They discard you, but not before making you feel utterly worthless, heartbroken, alone, and destroyed. Before they leave, they aim to take as much from you as possible, watching you collapse in agony, clueless about how it all happened. They love to watch you sacrifice everything, knowing there are always more people waiting in line to do the same. You don’t realize how all the beautiful memories and moments you shared are now shattered into pieces as they create new ones with someone else.
They discard you because they simply do not care about you. This is the most important thing to understand. Even if you still love them, remain loyal, and would do anything for them, they do not think the same way. They don’t understand commitment or compromise. They think only of themselves at all times and will not let anyone stand in their way. They may have told you they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you, that they would never leave you—and the second you turn your back, they’re with someone else, telling them the same lies, and discarding you faster than you can blink. They want the freedom to do whatever they want, whenever they want, with whomever they want.
They discard you because it thrills them to know they have power and control over you. They love to see you beg, plead, cry, and fall apart for them. They smear your name to their friends and anyone willing to listen, leaving out all the terrible things they did to you. They’ll label you crazy, obsessive, clingy, jealous—just for trying to communicate with them. This is how they triangulate you with their new supply and make them jealous. They want to appear as if they have endless options.
They discard you because they don’t form genuine attachments. They use people for as long as it benefits them, and when something shinier comes along, it’s goodbye—without warning. They might discard you for days, weeks, months, or even years, and then suddenly reappear when it suits them. No matter how much time has passed or how much damage they’ve caused, they feel entitled to come and go as they please. They often choose deeply empathetic people because we are the most forgiving. They know exactly what to say and do to reel you back in, repeating the same cycle of abuse.
They will discard you at the worst possible moment. You might be going through major life challenges, and they’ll seize the chance to leave you. They want to show you they refuse to hold your hand in tough times and won’t be someone you can lean on. They see your struggles as an inconvenience and will swap you for someone who doesn’t “complain” and is readily available at their beck and call. They will leave you on your birthday, during holidays, or any special occasion. If you’re looking forward to something, they will find a way to ruin it, disappear, ghost you, and refuse to communicate.
They also discard you as punishment to keep you submissive and ready for future use. If they see you begging after a discard, they know they have you exactly where they want you. You’re so desperate for them that you’re willing to forget everything they did just to have them back. You’re willing to sacrifice your own boundaries, allow more “open” situations to meet their needs, and do anything to avoid losing them again. You might even agree to sexual experiments you never wanted, just to keep them satisfied. It’s pure madness. They treat you like a slave and will abandon you in a heartbeat, no matter how much you love them or how long you’ve known them. It doesn’t matter if it’s been decades, months, or weeks; they will do what they want, whenever they want, for as long as they live.
They will discard you ruthlessly and without an ounce of remorse. They’ll do it as if they’re putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger, leaving you screaming in pain. They’ll stab you in the back and twist the knife every time you let them come back for more.
When they discard you, listen to me: never lower yourself to chase after someone who has discarded you so mercilessly. They are not worth your time, your tears, your compassion, your effort, or your love. The longer you stay and wait for them to want you again, the more you will lose yourself—until you no longer recognize who you are. That is not a life worth living.
Everyone deserves love that is returned when they give their best. No one deserves abuse, cheating, and disrespect from anyone. You wouldn’t want your friends or family to go through this, so why accept it for yourself? Never think you’re not good enough, that you’ll never find someone else, or that you won’t be happy again. Anything is better—even being alone—than being constantly hurt, used, trampled, humiliated, betrayed, and discarded like trash.
"People who leave quickly were never meant to stay."
#narcissisticabuse
#dontchase
#tiidijanecu
Narcissists usually choose victims whom they believe have the potential to replace their Primary Source. If they’re married, their spouse is considered the Primary Source.
However, narcissists don’t choose a spouse because they think that person is the “best” option. They choose them because they believe this person will become their lifelong doormat.
This partner might appear to be a devoted mother who won’t complain about anything, or a high-earning man who can provide the narcissistic wife with a comfortable lifestyle, and so on.
Once married, narcissists slowly start to drop their mask. They begin to emotionally manipulate their spouse, shaping them into someone submissive and unlikely to stand up to their abusive outbursts. Over time, the partner becomes so exhausted from constant fights that they’d rather stay silent than argue every day.
Eventually — once the narcissist has fully turned their spouse into a doormat — they begin cheating and searching for new sources of supply. This could be a coworker, someone they see at the gym, someone from church, or even multiple people they connect with online.
They usually look for someone younger than their spouse, someone they find physically attractive, with social status and financial resources.
Then begins the “love bombing” phase, where they simultaneously target multiple candidates.
Gradually, they focus on those who seem easiest to manipulate or those who are most accessible.
Several key factors influence what happens next in a relationship with a narcissist:
1. How financially secure the narcissist is — are they ready to leave their spouse for the new person?
2. How unaware the new target is of the narcissist’s true nature, and whether they can financially support the narcissist.
3. How emotionally vulnerable or traumatized the new target is.
Once these pieces are in place, the narcissist starts planning their exit. They might wait until their children graduate high school so they can appear to be a “good dad” or “good mom.” They start moving money into separate accounts, prepare divorce papers, and eventually move in with the new supply — someone too naive to see the manipulation.
Then one morning, the narcissist will leave this new victim too, moving on as if nothing ever happened, with no guilt or sense of responsibility.
The abandoned spouses and new supplies are left broken and empty-handed, while the narcissist moves on with the help of yet another victim, repeating this cycle endlessly without ever looking back or feeling remorse for the harm they’ve caused.
#narcissisticabuse
#youarenotalone
#tiidijanecu
Why the Narcissist Really Hurt You
When we were first drawn to a narcissist, it was often because we had one or more qualities they secretly admired. They used their false self to lure us in with fake charm, and before we knew it—we were hooked. That’s when the illusion of romance began. But it was never real. The narcissist never intended to make you a true priority. They were only ever interested in what they could extract from you.
That’s the heartbreaking truth: it was never personal. Narcissists don’t set out to destroy someone’s life because they hate them. They do it because you stood in their way. You exposed them. You ruined their perfect image. And so, in their mind, destroying you is the only way to save face.
Their grandiosity won't allow them to be humbled. Admitting fault is unthinkable. And if you dare hold a mirror to them, they resist it with all they’ve got. Their biggest concern is controlling how others see them. So if you’ve "tainted" their image in front of anyone, they’ll try to repair the damage by destroying your reputation. They’ll smear you—calling you crazy, unstable, or obsessive. And if they’re caught cheating, they’ll twist the story, painting themselves as victims or even as heroes helping someone else.
They don’t care how deeply you're hurt. Empathy isn’t part of their emotional vocabulary.
They manipulate others to win sympathy. Some people—especially those who don’t know their tactics—may fall for it. That’s when you learn who your real friends are. Narcissists often can’t even recognize how childhood trauma shaped them. When someone brings it up, they tend to take sides—often the wrong one—defending one parent over the other without true understanding.
If you ever mention they were emotionally abused, they’ll likely laugh it off or turn it back on you, questioning your credibility.
This is why you can’t take any of it personally. Nothing is personal to a narcissist—unless it’s about them. You were simply supply. Fuel for their ego. Nothing more.
Once you've given them love, kindness, and attention, they grow bored. The idealization fades. The thrill disappears. And they begin searching for their next source.
Why? Because you showed them emotions they can’t genuinely reciprocate.
Think about intimacy. The narcissist is usually one of two extremes. Either they were obsessed with sex—watching porn, pushing boundaries, wanting you to fulfill their desires regardless of your discomfort—or they avoided real intimacy altogether. There was no emotional connection, no "making love." Just control. When it was over, they’d turn away, sleep, or ignore you completely.
Why mention this? Because sex is often where you see the core of the narcissist’s dysfunction. They want physical closeness without emotional vulnerability. They simply can’t connect on a truly loving level.
They hated how confident you were—something they lack deeply. They envied your ability to form genuine bonds with others. That’s why they tried isolating you, pulling you away from friends and loved ones.
And yes, narcissists know exactly what they’re doing. They hurt you on purpose. They needed you broken to feel powerful. To feel special. That’s why going no contact is crucial. Never reach out after they discard you.
Narcissists are pathologically envious and jealous. They don’t want to see you happy—unless your happiness somehow benefits them. They’ll devalue your good traits, chip away at your self-esteem, and wear down your self-worth until there’s nothing left.
Deep down, they are empty. And they want their partners to suffer just as much. Your destruction empowers them. It makes them feel in control. In their world, power is everything.
Remember—why were we abused? Because we loved. Because we were kind. And they couldn't care less.
If they’re trying to destroy you, chances are they’re projecting their flaws onto you. All the things they hate about themselves, they assign to you. Your downfall is a price they’re willing to pay to protect their image.
They might envy your strength, your kindness, your ability to connect. And when they realize they can’t possess those traits, they try to destroy them out of jealousy. No one is allowed to shine brighter than them.
They may even try to ruin you simply because you know too much. You’ve become a threat to their false identity. They can't afford to let the truth get out.
They see themselves as flawed and unworthy of love. They loathe themselves. And if you love them despite their flaws, that must mean you’re flawed too. That’s how twisted their logic is.
Once, you were their ideal. You were placed high on a pedestal. But the higher you're placed, the further you fall. The moment you show vulnerability or human imperfection, they flip. You become “bad” in their black-and-white worldview, and they treat you accordingly.
They don’t even need a reason. Hurting people is second nature to them. Ask yourself—why does a snake bite? Because it’s a snake. The best response? Stay away from the tall grass.
If a narcissist ever tries to come back, it’s not because they care. It’s because they’re low on supply. They think they might still be able to get something from you. Don’t be fooled.
Yes, it’s hard to let go. Especially when you truly believed they cared. When you loved them. But eventually, you realize it was never love. It was a game. A game they created, with rules only they were allowed to change.
#narcissisticabuse
#notyourfault
#tiidijanecu
Why Doesn’t the Narcissist Want Anything to Do With You After the Discard?
Because they can’t face you.
Because they’ve been exposed—and they lack the courage to deal with that.
You’ve been wronged. You’re hurting. You feel broken, disconnected from yourself, overwhelmed with emotions you can’t process.
And they know that.
But they are cowards—incapable of standing in front of you and taking responsibility.
Expecting accountability from a narcissist is like asking a five-year-old to handle adult responsibilities—they simply can’t. Emotionally, narcissists are stunted. They lack empathy and emotional maturity, usually stemming from a deeply dysfunctional or neglectful childhood, which they now overcompensate for in adulthood.
When they hurt others, narcissists often believe their actions are justified. They live with extreme insecurity and a low threshold for emotional pain. So even if it seems to outsiders like they harm others for no reason, in their mind, there's always a reason. They live trapped in their own isolated emotional bubble.
Being a narcissist isn’t glamorous—it’s miserable.
People often demonize narcissists, but beneath the surface is someone desperately seeking validation, incapable of forming real connections.
That’s the root of their rage.
As the saying goes: “Hurt people hurt people.”
Why Doesn't the Narcissist Connect With You?
1. Because they want to toy with you before discarding you completely. They're bored, entitled, and arrogant—convinced they’re superior.
2. Because they want to watch you self-destruct and feed off the chaos. They hate you for being hard to control.
3. Because they want to keep you in a state of uncertainty—hoping you'll eventually send emotional messages out of desperation. But they’ll use those messages against you. Either to manipulate you again or to "prove" to their new supply that you’re the crazy one.
They’ll twist your pain to justify their decision to leave, even parading it in front of others to gain sympathy.
And yet—your reactions are 100% human.
Why You'll Never Get Closure
The breakup makes no logical sense—just like the relationship.
You don't understand why it ended, because you never really understood what was happening in the first place.
Often, it feels like the person you were once close to has suddenly turned into a cold stranger.
So a part of you holds on to the idea that maybe they’ll come back. Especially if this isn’t the first time.
But here’s the truth:
Narcissists never take responsibility.
If they appear to, it’s only because they want something—like trying to “hoover” you back in.
And yet, your healing depends on that responsibility. You want them to admit the lies, the cheating, the emotional manipulation.
If only they could stand in front of you and say:
"Yes, I did that. I never truly loved you. I don’t even know what love is."
—Then maybe you could let go.
But they won’t. And they never will.
Because for narcissists, accountability is a threat.
The Real Reason You're Still Hoping for Closure
You want clarity.
You want to understand the chaos so you can gather the shattered pieces of yourself and move forward.
Even if it still hurts—even if you’re still grieving—understanding brings relief.
But narcissists don’t follow the same emotional logic as the rest of us.
You likely felt that during the relationship—when arguments seemed surreal, and their reactions defied reason.
You just wanted them to understand. But they never could.
When you leave a narcissistic relationship, you're often left in a fog—unsure what even happened.
It’s common to second-guess yourself, to feel like the breakup wasn’t even yours to process.
You might not even understand how things fell apart—because they often do so over something trivial.
But to the narcissist, everything is a game of control.
They avoid you now because they know you’re hurt.
Because deep down, they know they’ve wronged you.
And they know that facing you means facing consequences.
They underestimated you.
But here’s the truth: You don’t need their explanation.
You’re strong enough without it.
What they did is your closure.
They may seem to walk away unpunished. But that’s just how it looks from the outside.
The truth?
A narcissist’s life is a never-ending nightmare.
They always want more. They're never satisfied. They destroy everything they touch.
You’ll often think about justice.
You might even fantasize about revenge.
But once you understand the truth—you’ll realize neither are necessary.
Because a narcissist will never know peace.
They'll never feel whole.
They’ll always destroy what they have.
They won’t give you answers.
They won’t give you a clean goodbye.
They’ll always leave the door half-open—just in case they want to come back.
You must close that door. Lock it. Weld it shut.
Find your answers within.
And know that just one truth is enough:
You were dealing with a narcissist.
We no longer want anything from them.
Not their apology.
Not their closeness.
Not revenge.
We are decent human beings.
We believe in justice.
And justice is letting them face the life they’ve created for themselves.
Let them lie at the bottom of the grave they dug with their own hands—and move forward.
#NarcissisticAbuseAwareness
#YouDeservePeace
#tiidijanecu
Narcissists Don’t Love – They Transact
Narcissists don't love, bond, or attach to others the way emotionally healthy people do. Everything they do—every word, gesture, or gift—is ultimately self-serving. They are transactional beings. One-way transactions.
Once a better "supply" comes along, they’ll leave. It doesn’t matter if you were married for 39 years or dated for just 3 months— they were never truly there for you. Their daily interaction with you was just one of many. They’re never satisfied and always on the hunt for a better deal, anywhere and everywhere.
While you were together, they were often involved with, or actively pursuing, 2–12 other people. You became dull, predictable—boring. Your love, your desire, your longing meant nothing after a while. They’ll discard you without remorse. No regret, no warmth, no missing you. They don’t have the emotional depth for that. You were just a thing—a means to an end.
Within 30 minutes of walking out the door and ending your "shared life," they’re already chasing someone new—relieved to be rid of you.
Yes, it sounds harsh. Bitter, even. But it’s the truth.
To a narcissist, no one matters. No one is "special"—except them. Stop making them special in your mind. Stop caring about what they think or feel. Take a breath. Begin to heal. Let them go. They only care about themselves. That will never change.
The Slow Exit That Feels Sudden
Narcissists don’t actually leave suddenly. It just feels that way. The truth is, they started planning their exit from the very first day. While you were committed and emotionally invested, they were already searching for a replacement—behind your back.
When they finally find a new victim, they discard you like garbage. Until then, you become their toy. They may pretend to care, or continue to draw you in—for attention or entertainment.
Even marriage doesn’t change this. Narcissists don’t care—not about you, not about your children. They lack empathy. They never truly loved you.
At the beginning of the relationship, they were mirroring you. That’s why it felt like they were your soulmate. But in reality, you were falling in love with your own reflection.
You Were a Supply—Nothing More
Narcissists only care about what they can get from you: sex, love, attention, housing, children, money, expensive gifts—whatever fuels their ego. They don’t care if it destroys you in the process. If you stop being useful, they move on.
They get bored easily. It doesn’t matter how attractive, kind, or wealthy you are. Even if you were Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie—they would still grow tired of you. They will cheat. If not physically, emotionally. If you’re with them now, odds are they were cheating on their previous partner with you. You just didn’t know.
Eventually, you might uncover their secret relationships or even an entirely different life. Once they calculate that walking away benefits them more than staying, they will vanish—no matter how long the relationship lasted. It’s painful, confusing—but in hindsight, their leaving is often the greatest gift.
They’ll treat the next person exactly as they treated you. And the one after that. And the one after that.
Acceptance Is the First Step Toward Healing
If you're the person they treated like you were "dead"—emotionally invisible—please recognize that it’s over. It’s time to focus on your healing. Yes, mistakes were made in the relationship, but the way someone treats you says far more about them than it does about you.
When someone who claimed to love you turns cruel or abandons you, it’s a wake-up call. Chances are, they never truly respected, valued, or even loved you in the first place. You may have missed red flags, or ignored them out of hope.
But now? Now it’s time to stop giving your energy to someone who does not care about you and never did. You deserve so much more.
Be kind to yourself. Seek therapy. Talk to someone you trust. Rebuild. Breakups are painful, but they also hold the potential for powerful growth.
None of us are perfect—but we can strive to be better people. People who choose empathy, and who honor others—even those who’ve hurt us.
#narcissisticabus
#youdeservebetter
#tiidijanecu
6 Things a Narcissist Wants You to Lose
One of the first things a narcissist wants you to lose is your self-esteem.
Self-esteem means having a healthy relationship with yourself — loving who you are, accepting your flaws, and trusting your own abilities. This is exactly what a narcissist wants to destroy in order to gain control over you. They will criticize you, belittle you, and try to silence you. They’ll make you feel like your opinions don’t matter, as if your voice is invalid. They want you to doubt yourself, stop trusting your instincts, and neglect your own needs — because then, all your love and energy goes to them. When your confidence is gone, they can move on to the next thing: your identity.
Your identity is what makes you you — your values, personality, appearance, and interests. But with low self-esteem, you may begin to change. You might stop taking care of yourself, feel unsure about who you are, and even start to look or act like a different person. The narcissist wants to strip away your individuality, turning you into a shadow of yourself. When you lose that sense of uniqueness, you also become less attractive to others — exactly what the narcissist wants.
The third thing they want you to lose is your independence.
They want you to rely on them completely — emotionally, financially, or both. They aim to isolate you from friends and family, making you feel like you have no one else. Because if you need them, you can’t leave them. It becomes a trap where they control your every move.
The fourth thing a narcissist wants you to lose is your grip on reality.
Through gaslighting, they manipulate your sense of truth. They want you to believe everyone is against you and that they are the only one who truly understands you. They want to cut you off from people who genuinely care about you and surround you with toxicity. Their goal? To control your mind — so you only see and believe what they want you to.
The fifth thing they target is your mental health.
They do this by creating chaos — disturbing your sleep, triggering constant stress, insulting you, blaming you, and making you feel like you're “crazy.” They want to break you down until you’re too exhausted or afraid to leave. Poor mental health makes it harder to face life’s challenges, which is exactly what the narcissist wants. They thrive when you're struggling.
The sixth and final thing they want you to lose is your inner peace and happiness.
You feel lost. You don’t know who you are anymore. You stop trusting people. You feel worthless and hopeless. Your mental health suffers — and often your physical health too — as a result of the toxic environment they create. They now have full control, and your happiness depends on someone who neither loves you nor cares about you.
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But here’s the truth:
Narcissists work overtime to destroy these things in you because a strong, confident, and healthy version of you threatens them. When you begin to heal, they panic — because they no longer have power over you. Your recovery disrupts their illusion of control.
You can rebuild what they tried to take. It’s not easy, and it takes time — but you can reclaim your self-worth, identity, freedom, and peace. And once you do, the narcissist is left with nothing but envy. Because deep down, narcissists are filled with resentment and jealousy toward anyone who dares to be happy, successful, and loved.
So protect your self-esteem. Know yourself. Love yourself. And never let anyone destroy your relationship with you.
#narcissisticabuse
#healyourself
#tiidijanecu
