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Narcissists Don’t Love – They Transact

Narcissists don't love, bond, or attach to others the way emotionally healthy people do. Everything they do—every word, gesture, or gift—is ultimately self-serving. They are transactional beings. One-way transactions.

Once a better "supply" comes along, they’ll leave. It doesn’t matter if you were married for 39 years or dated for just 3 months— they were never truly there for you. Their daily interaction with you was just one of many. They’re never satisfied and always on the hunt for a better deal, anywhere and everywhere.

While you were together, they were often involved with, or actively pursuing, 2–12 other people. You became dull, predictable—boring. Your love, your desire, your longing meant nothing after a while. They’ll discard you without remorse. No regret, no warmth, no missing you. They don’t have the emotional depth for that. You were just a thing—a means to an end.

Within 30 minutes of walking out the door and ending your "shared life," they’re already chasing someone new—relieved to be rid of you.

Yes, it sounds harsh. Bitter, even. But it’s the truth.

To a narcissist, no one matters. No one is "special"—except them. Stop making them special in your mind. Stop caring about what they think or feel. Take a breath. Begin to heal. Let them go. They only care about themselves. That will never change.

The Slow Exit That Feels Sudden

Narcissists don’t actually leave suddenly. It just feels that way. The truth is, they started planning their exit from the very first day. While you were committed and emotionally invested, they were already searching for a replacement—behind your back.

When they finally find a new victim, they discard you like garbage. Until then, you become their toy. They may pretend to care, or continue to draw you in—for attention or entertainment.

Even marriage doesn’t change this. Narcissists don’t care—not about you, not about your children. They lack empathy. They never truly loved you.

At the beginning of the relationship, they were mirroring you. That’s why it felt like they were your soulmate. But in reality, you were falling in love with your own reflection.

You Were a Supply—Nothing More

Narcissists only care about what they can get from you: sex, love, attention, housing, children, money, expensive gifts—whatever fuels their ego. They don’t care if it destroys you in the process. If you stop being useful, they move on.

They get bored easily. It doesn’t matter how attractive, kind, or wealthy you are. Even if you were Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie—they would still grow tired of you. They will cheat. If not physically, emotionally. If you’re with them now, odds are they were cheating on their previous partner with you. You just didn’t know.

Eventually, you might uncover their secret relationships or even an entirely different life. Once they calculate that walking away benefits them more than staying, they will vanish—no matter how long the relationship lasted. It’s painful, confusing—but in hindsight, their leaving is often the greatest gift.

They’ll treat the next person exactly as they treated you. And the one after that. And the one after that.

Acceptance Is the First Step Toward Healing

If you're the person they treated like you were "dead"—emotionally invisible—please recognize that it’s over. It’s time to focus on your healing. Yes, mistakes were made in the relationship, but the way someone treats you says far more about them than it does about you.

When someone who claimed to love you turns cruel or abandons you, it’s a wake-up call. Chances are, they never truly respected, valued, or even loved you in the first place. You may have missed red flags, or ignored them out of hope.

But now? Now it’s time to stop giving your energy to someone who does not care about you and never did. You deserve so much more.

Be kind to yourself. Seek therapy. Talk to someone you trust. Rebuild. Breakups are painful, but they also hold the potential for powerful growth.

None of us are perfect—but we can strive to be better people. People who choose empathy, and who honor others—even those who’ve hurt us.

#narcissisticabus

#youdeservebetter

#tiidijanecu

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D'angelo Jakubowski 6mo ago

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