Narcissists usually choose victims whom they believe have the potential to replace their Primary Source. If they’re married, their spouse is considered the Primary Source.

However, narcissists don’t choose a spouse because they think that person is the “best” option. They choose them because they believe this person will become their lifelong doormat.

This partner might appear to be a devoted mother who won’t complain about anything, or a high-earning man who can provide the narcissistic wife with a comfortable lifestyle, and so on.

Once married, narcissists slowly start to drop their mask. They begin to emotionally manipulate their spouse, shaping them into someone submissive and unlikely to stand up to their abusive outbursts. Over time, the partner becomes so exhausted from constant fights that they’d rather stay silent than argue every day.

Eventually — once the narcissist has fully turned their spouse into a doormat — they begin cheating and searching for new sources of supply. This could be a coworker, someone they see at the gym, someone from church, or even multiple people they connect with online.

They usually look for someone younger than their spouse, someone they find physically attractive, with social status and financial resources.

Then begins the “love bombing” phase, where they simultaneously target multiple candidates.

Gradually, they focus on those who seem easiest to manipulate or those who are most accessible.

Several key factors influence what happens next in a relationship with a narcissist:

1. How financially secure the narcissist is — are they ready to leave their spouse for the new person?

2. How unaware the new target is of the narcissist’s true nature, and whether they can financially support the narcissist.

3. How emotionally vulnerable or traumatized the new target is.

Once these pieces are in place, the narcissist starts planning their exit. They might wait until their children graduate high school so they can appear to be a “good dad” or “good mom.” They start moving money into separate accounts, prepare divorce papers, and eventually move in with the new supply — someone too naive to see the manipulation.

Then one morning, the narcissist will leave this new victim too, moving on as if nothing ever happened, with no guilt or sense of responsibility.

The abandoned spouses and new supplies are left broken and empty-handed, while the narcissist moves on with the help of yet another victim, repeating this cycle endlessly without ever looking back or feeling remorse for the harm they’ve caused.

#narcissisticabuse

#youarenotalone

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