The jungle spirit would like you for saying this. But i'd say its both
Profile-centric or Relay-centric? Why not both!
Nostr truly is a galaxy brain ideaš
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To answer your final question of how to figure it all out, I think the answer is to still give relays precedence over all. If you want to āfollowā someone, you need to subscribe to their āhomeā server (whether that is their home server or the club that they treat as their home base (āheās a regularā)).
The trick is to simply base it all on real life analogy. Notes are posters/flyers. The relay servers are like clubs/bars/telephone poles.
Notes *need* a sense of locality. Itās what makes it understandable for the average person. When the normie understands a system, they buy into and invest in the system. It can become ātheirsā.
At the very least, Iām happy to be the devilās advocate here and push the āprofileā camp to have better arguments.
Maybe you should be able to subscribe to a profile specifically. But what youāre really doing at that point is good old fashioned legwork. Youāre going place to place asking āhave you seen this person recently?ā
The UX should reflect this action. Again, it makes it understandable which is key to get user buy-in