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Nope

That he has engaged her but hasn't already told about all his financial secrets means he doesn't trust her, since part of trust is speaking truth. In a relationship as intimate as engagement and marriage, if he hasn't told her about all his financial secrets, since your relationship is only sick as it's secrets, then he doesn't have a real intention to marry her in his heart. Their relationship isn't built on truth, but lies and or a series of omissions.

He should either tell her immediately about as many of his secrets as he can think of, especially the ones that would give her a reason to break up with him, or break off the engagement and learn to speak truth to himself and other people as a way of life.

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Discussion

WienerMemer 4mo ago 💬 2

It seems like the dude is already thinking about a potential divorce. He seems wise.

> he doesn't have a real intention to marry her in his heart

Maybe it's because he has a functioning brain and knows how modern marriage works instead of thinking like it's a Disney fairy tale.

FikaTimeBooks.com 4mo ago

Wisdom builds highly authentic relationships based on spoken truth and truth in action, since a relationship is only as sick as its secrets, practicing secret minimization.

How modern marriage works is a misnomer.

A man doesn't marry modern marriage which is an opaque phrase.

A man marries a woman, one specific women, not a marriage apparatus.

Marriage wasn't created by imperfect men or women.

Marriage was created by God, who is Good.

Therefore, marriage is covenant which is deeper and more profound and real than any man or woman made ideology, and any attempt to denigrate or erode it.

Building a potential marriage relationship is relatively simple.

Speak the truth kindly about everything, and expect reciprocation.

If he or she doesn't reciprocate, reject him or her and move on.

Repeat until you find someone who will reciprocate, with similar values, who you also want to have sex with, and who thinks and feels the same about you, and aligns on life dreams and vision.

Then get married.

Then continue being radically kindly truthful forever, while they do the same with you, while learning and having fun together and adulting and having sex as a habit of interpersonal contribution.

If you do this, whatever bullshit lies about marriage that are trending in popular culture won't really matter because the truth and trust in your covenant marriage under God will be far more powerful and durable and in some sense, eternal.

The problem with him and with you, is neither of you yet grok what marriage covenant is, and it colors what you say in ways that are not true.

But if you seek to grok the reality of covenant marriage as God created and defined it, and live from those values, as long as you are healthy and functional and assert your boundaries and don't compromise on what you really want and kindly speak truth, you will dodge many bullets and eventually find the woman you want, like I did.

If you want to know how to prepare yourself for marriage and find someone you want to be with forever, read our book called, "How to Prepare Yourself for Marriage."

http://fikatimebooks.com