i dont know how he survived telling us. i dont even know how he got the sentence to come out of his throat. but he did. he told us. it was drizzling that day. we were in the Adirondacks. summer camp. he had to leave the hospital and my mom's dead body and drive to lake placid by himself. to tell us in person.

we were all sitting on the same couch. the cushions were thin and marigold yellow.