What is healthy masculinity? What is healthy femininity?

People like to go backwards and forwards over this one and I have never seen an explanation that I like, so I made my own.

To be a man or a woman is simply to have a different set of logistical challenges in life. To be a good man or a good woman is to do a good job of handling the burdens, and the privileges, of your circumstance.

The difference between men and women is pregnancy, everything else, EVERYTHING else, is downstream of that.

Men have the privilege of walking away from a pregnancy. As such, a good man is a man who chooses to take on responsibility.

Men, in general, have the privilege of being less physically vulnerable than women. As such, a good man is a man who chooses to protect those more physically vulnerable than him.

Women, in general, have the privilege of being able to create life. That’s massive. As such, a good woman is a woman who, if/when she chooses to do so, chooses to create life in a responsible, thoughtful, and loving way.

A good woman is a person who is aware of, and respectful of, the burdens that men face.

A good man is a person who is aware of, and respectful of, the burdens that women face.

And of course, any individual that tries to deride, shame, or control another is a monster.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.