Trauma will continue to raise its ugly head throughout your life and frequently at unexpected or inconvenient moments. Over time the trauma does diminish, but very slowly and almost never entirely. It's not about whether you've worked through it or not it's more of a biological response frequently triggered by environmental stimuli. Eventually the receptors around the trauma slowly dull over time and you get triggered less often and less intensely. This can take many many years.
However, that doesn't help much for when you're struggling with it in the moment. At those times I have found leaning in is the answer. Acknowledge the feeling, invite it in and offer it tea, listen to what it has to say for awhile. Then after awhile, politely ask it to leave.
I speak from both personal experience and as a clinical counsellor.
May I ask if you've tried microdosing psilocybin? There is amazing research coming out regarding its effectiveness in regard to PTSD. Appears to help rewrite neural pathways that keep us stuck in cognitive and behavioral loops. At low dose it has all the medicinal qualities but none of the hallucinatory properties.
https://neurosciencenews.com/ptsd-psychedelic-psilocybin-pharmacology-23158/
