I don't think deleting a nostr relay will work the same

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No, it doesn't. Your events might be in other places, so they are not gone. o.o

That said, if I *did* want to remove my relay, all I'd have to do is:

systemctl stop strfry

rm -rvf /srv/strfry

Done. No need to send 2k HTTP requests to other instances to tell them, "hey I'm gone now, bye!" (which did in fact happen, sidekiq was super busy for a good 10-ish minutes). All that'd happen is that people that used the relay would see an error, drop it and forget about it - or their client does it for them. :)