So with fees being high I'm looking for a new lighting wallet so I can buy Bitcoin on lighting for my kids because they only get 20-50 at a time

What your best recommendation!

Ideally self custody is best, but don't want to lose money on constantly opening channels.

I'm thinking once the lighting amount is large enough, move it to on chain

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Here are some ideas in this video. If you’re buying from Bill Bitcoin you can use Liquid Bitcoin as an way to save until fees are low or you have enough saved. You don’t have use a hardware wallet for your Liquid Bitcoin. You could use a mobile wallet like Blockstream Green. Then swap to on-chain Bitcoin to cold storage.

https://youtu.be/5kNMJd-Ts2c?si=XJbw8EBJaTEB1BAA