There's lots of reasons you may not connect consistently. If you're not receiving notifications, you would probably benefit from different/less read relays. 1-3 read, 1-3 write is a good set up. Write = where you publish your notes. Read = where you receive interactions to your notes. They can be the same or different. Too many of either (more than 5) can cause added issues. Some things will still be inconsistent but you should see improvement on you're own stuff. Best is subjective. There's also some client specific nuances. Which app do you use?
Discussion
Thank you for that, much appreciated. I think I've definitely got too many relays. I'll have a cull. Thanks.
What's the reason/logic behind writing and reading to/from different relays. Seems to make very little sense?
I'm on Yakihonne.
Your read/inbox relays help to protect your received replies from spam & other unwanted things. But, you might want to write to big, public relays so your notes are more prolific. A lot of spam makes it through the big, public relays because spam accounts look a lot like a new user. Nostr overall is currently midway between 2 very different methods of handling the exchange of notes. Eventually, it will matter less where you write, but it will always matter where you read.