I need to learn how to let go of my need to be understood all the time. It comes from a people pleasing, insecure part of myself that I need to strengthen.
I wish I didn’t give a shit.
Not giving a shit is a flex, I’ll give you that.
Discussion
I understand
I don't, but I don't care.
Confidence and self esteem stack. A little bit every day goes a long way and none goes to waste 💪
Seek, understand, and live the truth, and your actions will speak for you.
People will understand you to be the ideal you strive for, and if they don't, that's when you shouldn't give a shit.
I’ve long followed your posts, always felt/assumed you were an uber-extrovert, so I’m genuinely fascinated what you mean when you say you “need to be understood all the time”?
I’ve never felt that, what’s that mean for you?
I’m extroverted for sure, I love participating in life and interacting with the world but it’s within the context of an overall very introverted life. To me though these are more personality traits, not indicators of where you’re most secure. It’s also not binary. You can be secure about certain things and irrationally vulnerable about others. Idk
I appreciate you. Seriously.
When I first came to Nostr you were a constant feed, and I liked your posts, and was overwhelmed by how constant you were on this new platform. So I “liked” you.
And as time went on over many months, you kept being a pole-star in my timeline, and honestly, I appreciated your posts, appreciated you, so now you’ve become a very respected, very familiar favorite of mine on Nostr.
So I guess my point is: I don’t know who you are and we’ll never meet ever, but I’d like to express that I very much appreciate who you are on this platform.
I didn’t know you until I joined Nostr about a year ago, but I’ve always appreciated having “friended” you a long time back.
I’m not a perv.
I’m an artist, so I tend to be uncomfortably honest.
Anyway.
There it is.
That’s that.
I appreciate so, so much that you embraced Nostr whole-Heartedly, when I did and when very few other people did.
Whatever Nostr was/is/become you were a constant for me and many others at it’s birth.
And I want to honor that because I was there.
This is so lovely, ty tacos
Thanks for being vulnerable; you’re not alone in this!
Check out Emotional Resolution. Sounds like an subconscious emotional trigger, and it can reprogrammed by surrendering to the physical imprint inside your body the moment the feeling occurs.
Once the sensations get resolved within you (a ‘bottom-up’ approach), you won’t give a shit—without even trying.
Simple, but not always easy, so feel free to DM if you have any questions.
I just read a bit about this, thank you so much for sharing. I’ll be looking into this more. I’ve always thought it went: stimuli - brain - emotional response - physical response. If I’m understanding correctly this seems to take the view that it’s: stimuli - brain - physical response - emotional response. So instead of rewiring the neural pathways you’re rewiring the chemical reaction, a survival response stored in our physical memory?
That’s a great way to put it.
Emotions are, at their core, physical sensations felt within the body.
Often we first notice the behavioral reaction of the emotion and create many thoughts surrounding that, but it’s already not the emotion itself any longer; that’s conscious/logical thought about an emotion that is subconscious/non-logical.
It very well might be both the neural pathways & chemical reactions being rewired in this process of attending to physical sensations as the root to the emotional trigger. The body is a self-regulating & regenerating ‘machine’, so this harnesses that natural capacity.
Correct, I too see that these emotional triggers are survival responses (outdated prediction patterns, rooted as physical sensations imprints, experienced as “emotions”) stored within the subconscious mind. Brain, mind, and body therefor become a bit difficult to separate, as they are all working in concert when this is happening.
The key to updating these outdated prediction patterns is to surrender to the feeling when it arises. No controlling, no distracting; only allowing yourself to feel it fully through the physical sensory imprint within you. This process usually lasts 90 seconds maximum. The brain/body can be quick at self-regulating emotions once we learn to surrender to this outdated survival response (while simultaneously being in a physically safe space).
Yeah, Any kind of proving yourself is kind of a show of arrogance. If you want something good, Want it because you want it, Not because of what other people think about you. Nobody is coming to save you, More people will hate you than will ever appreciate you for who you actually are, And people are exactly as selfish as they seem.
People buying things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t like.
Do it for you or don’t fucking do it.
I will say there is also a fine and hard to define line where you can easily not give enough of a shit, and I sometimes think that maybe my life would be a lot easier/better if I had a little more emotion/attachment toward other people.