I mostly agree...I feel like I threaded a needle. That rage drove me to strive - without it, I would have succumbed to the environment I was in. But it needed to be retired at some point (especially after I met my wife since she is the most gentle, giving, gracious people I've ever met). But then I was in the mode of providing security to my immediate family and future generations. To not do that was to fail...and I fought failure my whole life because I was told I WOULD fail.

FYI, I didn't become a believer until about 18 years after that last runaway.