I was at party chatting with a male friend who is single and looking to mingle. He was lamenting the disparity in our ability to get laid that evening, and so we had an interesting convo about who has it better in that scenario.

Most people when they look at this situation look at it from a very male point of view. Had I been trying to “get laid” that evening (I wasn’t) indeed it probably would only have taken me ~15min to find a reasonably attractive man who would agree to come back to my room. But that would not be a satisfying experience for me.

If we change the metric from “able to get laid” to “able to have a satisfying sexual experience” you can see that our odds were about the same.

Me picking up some rando would not result in a satisfying experience. For me (and for a lot of women) to have a satisfying sexual experience, I have to know someone. I have to trust them, I have to feel safe with them. That is rare and takes time.

It blows my mind how much we still look at the world through a male lens.